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Spurious correlation #1,754 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and the second variable is The number of postmasters in Florida.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2010, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The increased air pollution in Pensacola, Florida has led to a surge in the local pigeon population. These pollution-loving pigeons, seeking postal employment, have aced the delivery routes, impressing the authorities with their swift and accurate deliveries. As a result, there has been a demand for more postmasters in Florida to manage the pigeon postal service efficiently. This has inadvertently created job opportunities for humans in the postal industry. The pigeons, with their innate navigational skills, have revolutionized the delivery system, prompting the need for additional human oversight. This unexpected partnership between pollution, pigeons, and postal service has established Pensacola as a hub for avian-assisted mail delivery, ultimately boosting the employment of postmasters across the state.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of an industrial cityscape in Pensacola, Florida, with a post office prominently featured in the center. The buildings are shrouded in a haze of smog and pollutants, creating a surreal and dystopian atmosphere. In the foreground, depict a line of stoic postmasters, each adorned in a distinct cyber art style. They stand resilient, symbolizing their unwavering commitment to serving the community amidst the environmental challenges. The color palette should reflect the ominous and industrial nature of the scene, with elements of neon cyberpunk aesthetics to convey a futuristic yet polluted environment. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Poor air quality in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A photo-realistic image Data cyber art Data cyber art Cybernetic art An image that looks like it is a scene from 'Star Wars'
ChatGPT: Data cyber art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Poor air quality in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Pensacola, Florida, the hazy sky hangs low over the city, with smog and pollutants obscuring the view of the post office. Despite the poor air quality, the line of postmasters remains unbroken, diligently serving the community amidst the environmental challenges.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Data cyber art ] and depicting this scene: In Pensacola, Florida, the hazy sky hangs low over the city, with smog and pollutants obscuring the view of the post office. Despite the poor air quality, the line of postmasters remains unbroken, diligently serving the community amidst the environmental challenges. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of an industrial cityscape in Pensacola, Florida, with a post office prominently featured in the center. The buildings are shrouded in a haze of smog and pollutants, creating a surreal and dystopian atmosphere. In the foreground, depict a line of stoic postmasters, each adorned in a distinct cyber art style. They stand resilient, symbolizing their unwavering commitment to serving the community amidst the environmental challenges. The color palette should reflect the ominous and industrial nature of the scene, with elements of neon cyberpunk aesthetics to convey a futuristic yet polluted environment.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how increases in Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida positively influenced The number of postmasters in Florida.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

Journal of Environmental Humor Research

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2010.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The relationship between environmental quality and occupational demographics has long been an area of interest for researchers aiming to understand the complex interplay of external factors on human systems. In this study, we investigate the unexpected connection between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. This unusual pairing may seem as out of place as a "stamp" on an email, but as we delved into the data, we found a correlation that was as clear as the "air" we breathe - and we're not "pulling your leg"!

Air quality, an important facet of public health and environmental science, is a pressing concern in many regions, including the pristine paradise of Pensacola. Given the prevalence of "sea"sonal hurricanes and tropical weather, one might expect the air to be just as "gulf"-y as the waters it adjoins - and indeed, our initial hypothesis suggested as much. However, the data told a different story, leading us to wonder if there was more to this correlation than "meets the eye" - a puzzle that kept us "air-borne" through the research process.

The occupational distribution within the postal service, particularly the number of postmaster positions, also captured our attention. While some may view the postal service as a "stamped"e of bureaucratic tradition, we sought to uncover any links between this workforce and the atmospheric conditions that envelop them. It's safe to say that we were "air-ly" excited to explore this avenue of inquiry, wondering if there was a "mail-able" explanation for the surprising relationship we uncovered.

Our study is not only an amusing anecdote but also a testament to the unpredictable nature of scientific inquiry. While the overlap between air quality and postmaster populations may seem as improbable as a postage stamp with an expiration date, we plunged into the statistical depths and emerged with compelling evidence of their behavioral co-mingling. Join us in this delightful journey of discovering the "air-rational" side of scientific investigation, where truth can be "signed, sealed, delivered" - and sometimes, sprinkled with a hint of unexpected humor!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The relationship between environmental quality and occupational demographics has long been an area of interest for researchers aiming to understand the complex interplay of external factors on human systems. In this study, we investigate the unexpected connection between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. This unusual pairing may seem as out of place as a "stamp" on an email, but as we delved into the data, we found a correlation that was as clear as the "air" we breathe - and we're not "pulling your leg"!
Air quality, an important facet of public health and environmental science, is a pressing concern in many regions, including the pristine paradise of Pensacola. Given the prevalence of "sea"sonal hurricanes and tropical weather, one might expect the air to be just as "gulf"-y as the waters it adjoins - and indeed, our initial hypothesis suggested as much. However, the data told a different story, leading us to wonder if there was more to this correlation than "meets the eye" - a puzzle that kept us "air-borne" through the research process.
The occupational distribution within the postal service, particularly the number of postmaster positions, also captured our attention. While some may view the postal service as a "stamped"e of bureaucratic tradition, we sought to uncover any links between this workforce and the atmospheric conditions that envelop them. It's safe to say that we were "air-ly" excited to explore this avenue of inquiry, wondering if there was a "mail-able" explanation for the surprising relationship we uncovered.
Our study is not only an amusing anecdote but also a testament to the unpredictable nature of scientific inquiry. While the overlap between air quality and postmaster populations may seem as improbable as a postage stamp with an expiration date, we plunged into the statistical depths and emerged with compelling evidence of their behavioral co-mingling. Join us in this delightful journey of discovering the "air-rational" side of scientific investigation, where truth can be "signed, sealed, delivered" - and sometimes, sprinkled with a hint of unexpected humor!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their study, Jones et al. (2015) examined the effects of air pollution on occupational demographics, focusing on various regions in the United States. The authors find a consistent association between air quality indicators and workforce dynamics, shedding light on the intricate interplay between environmental factors and labor patterns. While the connection may seem as elusive as a piece of mail that never reaches its destination, the findings resound with the resonance of an unexpected delivery - pun intended.

Similarly, Smith and Doe (2018) conducted a comprehensive analysis of employment trends in Florida, exploring the nuances of occupational distributions across different sectors. Their work unearths intriguing patterns in the regional workforce, including the enigmatic correlation between air pollution levels and the number of postmasters. The results of their study provide compelling evidence of a relationship that is as captivating as a stamp collector's prized possession - a connection that truly sticks!

Delving into the realm of non-fiction literature, "The Air We Breathe: Environmental Impact on Labor Markets" (Roberts, 2017) offers a comprehensive exploration of the influence of atmospheric conditions on workplace dynamics. Through meticulous data analyses and insightful narratives, the book presents a compelling case for the significance of environmental factors in shaping occupational landscapes. An unexpected twist in the plot, much like a surprise letter in the mailbox, is the revelation of the curious correlation between air pollution in Pensacola and the number of postmasters statewide - a discovery that prompts a breath of fresh "air" for researchers.

Shifting gears to the realm of fiction, "Cloudy with a Chance of Jobs" (Davis, 2009) presents a whimsical yet thought-provoking tale of a town where employment opportunities are intricately tied to atmospheric conditions. While the narrative may seem like a flight of fancy, the underlying theme of environmental influences on workforce dynamics resonates with our empirical findings. As the story unfolds, readers are transported to a world where job prospects "rain" from the skies, mirroring the unexpected relationship between air pollution and postmaster populations in our study.

Venturing into the cinematic domain, "The Airbenders" (2010) provides a fantastical portrayal of individuals with the extraordinary ability to manipulate air currents. While the film may primarily center on fictional elements, the overarching theme of atmospheric impact on human activities beckons to the underlying correlation between air quality and workforce compositions. As characters soar through the skies with unparalleled grace, one cannot help but draw parallels to the subtle yet compelling connection we have uncovered - a revelation as surprising as an unexpected gust of wind.

The interdisciplinary nature of our investigation resonates with the diversity of sources that parallel our findings, illuminating the captivating convergence of air pollution and postmaster populations. As we continue to navigate this uncharted intersection of environmental science and labor dynamics, the unexpected twists and turns serve as beacons of merriment in the scholarly pursuit of truth.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2010

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The relationship between environmental quality and occupational demographics has long been an area of interest for researchers aiming to understand the complex interplay of external factors on human systems. In this study, we investigate the unexpected connection between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. This unusual pairing may seem as out of place as a "stamp" on an email, but as we delved into the data, we found a correlation that was as clear as the "air" we breathe - and we're not "pulling your leg"!
Air quality, an important facet of public health and environmental science, is a pressing concern in many regions, including the pristine paradise of Pensacola. Given the prevalence of "sea"sonal hurricanes and tropical weather, one might expect the air to be just as "gulf"-y as the waters it adjoins - and indeed, our initial hypothesis suggested as much. However, the data told a different story, leading us to wonder if there was more to this correlation than "meets the eye" - a puzzle that kept us "air-borne" through the research process.
The occupational distribution within the postal service, particularly the number of postmaster positions, also captured our attention. While some may view the postal service as a "stamped"e of bureaucratic tradition, we sought to uncover any links between this workforce and the atmospheric conditions that envelop them. It's safe to say that we were "air-ly" excited to explore this avenue of inquiry, wondering if there was a "mail-able" explanation for the surprising relationship we uncovered.
Our study is not only an amusing anecdote but also a testament to the unpredictable nature of scientific inquiry. While the overlap between air quality and postmaster populations may seem as improbable as a postage stamp with an expiration date, we plunged into the statistical depths and emerged with compelling evidence of their behavioral co-mingling. Join us in this delightful journey of discovering the "air-rational" side of scientific investigation, where truth can be "signed, sealed, delivered" - and sometimes, sprinkled with a hint of unexpected humor!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To elucidate the potential association between air pollution in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida, a curious concoction of data and statistical wizardry was brewed. The research team conjured a multifaceted approach involving data extraction from reputable sources such as the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). A period from 2003 to 2010 was selected for the analysis, resembling a carefully aged bottle of fine wine - or in this case, a fine vintage of scientific inquiry.

The first step in this peculiar tango of variables involved the mining of air quality data from the EPA, which provided extensive measurements of atmospheric contaminants such as particulate matter, ozone, and nitrogen dioxide. The meticulous combing through of this data was akin to sifting through a haze of obscurity, searching for the hidden patterns that would bring "clarity" to our investigation. Additionally, the BLS was tapped to obtain the number of postmasters employed in Florida, ensuring a thorough examination of the postal workforce with "letters" to spare.

A key feature of our approach was the utilization of a correlation analysis, a statistical tool as trusty as a postal worker's mailbag. This method allowed us to quantify the degree of relationship between air pollution levels and the number of postmasters, offering more than just a "stamp" of approval for our findings. By computing the correlation coefficient, we aimed to reveal the strength and direction of the relationship - a task not unlike separating envelopes from a jumble of letters, all in pursuit of uncovering the perfect postal pairing.

Furthermore, the significance of the correlation was rigorously assessed using hypothesis testing, which provided a statistical "seal" of approval for the observed relationship. This step involved setting the stage for the comparison of our calculated correlation coefficient with critical values, determining whether the association we unearthed was merely a "fluke" or a bona fide scientific discovery. The p-value served as our guidepost, indicating whether the relationship between air pollution and the number of postmasters was as "clear" as an open sky or as "hazy" as a foggy morning.

In addition, a series of supplementary analyses were conducted to explore potential confounding variables, such as demographic factors and regional characteristics, which might influence our main findings. These auxiliary investigations assembled a colorful spectrum of data points, rather like arranging a palette of stamps, each representing a unique facet of the postal puzzle. By considering these contextual elements, we strived to ensure that our results transcended any potential "air-ors" lurking in the expanse of statistical analyses.

In summary, the methodology employed in this study represents a thorough disentanglement of the relationship between air pollution in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. Through a melding of data extraction, statistical analyses, and a conscientious consideration of potential confounders, our research team endeavored to shed "envelope"-ing light on this unusual connection, embracing the twists and turns of scientific inquiry with the same spirit of curiosity that leads one to wonder - what did the mailman say to the customer requesting a stamp? "I'm sorry, but I can't stick around - I'm in high demand!"


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2010, you found a correlation 0.8554684, r-squared of 0.7318262, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The relationship between environmental quality and occupational demographics has long been an area of interest for researchers aiming to understand the complex interplay of external factors on human systems. In this study, we investigate the unexpected connection between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. This unusual pairing may seem as out of place as a "stamp" on an email, but as we delved into the data, we found a correlation that was as clear as the "air" we breathe - and we're not "pulling your leg"!
Air quality, an important facet of public health and environmental science, is a pressing concern in many regions, including the pristine paradise of Pensacola. Given the prevalence of "sea"sonal hurricanes and tropical weather, one might expect the air to be just as "gulf"-y as the waters it adjoins - and indeed, our initial hypothesis suggested as much. However, the data told a different story, leading us to wonder if there was more to this correlation than "meets the eye" - a puzzle that kept us "air-borne" through the research process.
The occupational distribution within the postal service, particularly the number of postmaster positions, also captured our attention. While some may view the postal service as a "stamped"e of bureaucratic tradition, we sought to uncover any links between this workforce and the atmospheric conditions that envelop them. It's safe to say that we were "air-ly" excited to explore this avenue of inquiry, wondering if there was a "mail-able" explanation for the surprising relationship we uncovered.
Our study is not only an amusing anecdote but also a testament to the unpredictable nature of scientific inquiry. While the overlap between air quality and postmaster populations may seem as improbable as a postage stamp with an expiration date, we plunged into the statistical depths and emerged with compelling evidence of their behavioral co-mingling. Join us in this delightful journey of discovering the "air-rational" side of scientific investigation, where truth can be "signed, sealed, delivered" - and sometimes, sprinkled with a hint of unexpected humor!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The correlation analysis conducted on the air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida for the period from 2003 to 2010 revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8554684. This correlation coefficient indicates a strong positive relationship between the two variables – a connection as robust as a parcel wrapped in layers of statistical significance. It seems that in the realm of environmental factors and occupational demographics, the link between air pollution and the postal workforce is as tangible as a well-sealed package! The p-value of less than 0.01 further supports the significance of this finding, providing compelling evidence that this relationship is not just a statistical fluke but a genuine entwining of atmospheric and administrative elements.

The r-squared value of 0.7318262 indicates that approximately 73% of the variability observed in the number of postmasters can be explained by the variations in air pollution levels. This finding suggests that the atmospheric quality in Pensacola may exert a substantial influence on the distribution and abundance of postmaster positions throughout Florida. It's as if the air pollution levels are not just blowing in the wind, but also leaving their mark on the occupational landscape of the postal service in the state – a realization that truly delivers a breath of fresh statistical air!

The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the strong positive correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida. The data points align themselves with a sense of purpose, as if illustrating the harmonious relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data points are saying, "Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor pollution stays these postmasters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" – a nod to the steadfast dedication of both atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators in fulfilling their respective roles.

In conclusion, the results of this study offer a "sur-air-ising" insight into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. The findings not only underscore the impact of environmental factors on occupational demographics but also serve as a reminder that in the world of empirical inquiry, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-se" if we look at the data with a discerning eye.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their study, Jones et al. (2015) examined the effects of air pollution on occupational demographics, focusing on various regions in the United States. The authors find a consistent association between air quality indicators and workforce dynamics, shedding light on the intricate interplay between environmental factors and labor patterns. While the connection may seem as elusive as a piece of mail that never reaches its destination, the findings resound with the resonance of an unexpected delivery - pun intended.
Similarly, Smith and Doe (2018) conducted a comprehensive analysis of employment trends in Florida, exploring the nuances of occupational distributions across different sectors. Their work unearths intriguing patterns in the regional workforce, including the enigmatic correlation between air pollution levels and the number of postmasters. The results of their study provide compelling evidence of a relationship that is as captivating as a stamp collector's prized possession - a connection that truly sticks!
Delving into the realm of non-fiction literature, "The Air We Breathe: Environmental Impact on Labor Markets" (Roberts, 2017) offers a comprehensive exploration of the influence of atmospheric conditions on workplace dynamics. Through meticulous data analyses and insightful narratives, the book presents a compelling case for the significance of environmental factors in shaping occupational landscapes. An unexpected twist in the plot, much like a surprise letter in the mailbox, is the revelation of the curious correlation between air pollution in Pensacola and the number of postmasters statewide - a discovery that prompts a breath of fresh "air" for researchers.
Shifting gears to the realm of fiction, "Cloudy with a Chance of Jobs" (Davis, 2009) presents a whimsical yet thought-provoking tale of a town where employment opportunities are intricately tied to atmospheric conditions. While the narrative may seem like a flight of fancy, the underlying theme of environmental influences on workforce dynamics resonates with our empirical findings. As the story unfolds, readers are transported to a world where job prospects "rain" from the skies, mirroring the unexpected relationship between air pollution and postmaster populations in our study.
Venturing into the cinematic domain, "The Airbenders" (2010) provides a fantastical portrayal of individuals with the extraordinary ability to manipulate air currents. While the film may primarily center on fictional elements, the overarching theme of atmospheric impact on human activities beckons to the underlying correlation between air quality and workforce compositions. As characters soar through the skies with unparalleled grace, one cannot help but draw parallels to the subtle yet compelling connection we have uncovered - a revelation as surprising as an unexpected gust of wind.
The interdisciplinary nature of our investigation resonates with the diversity of sources that parallel our findings, illuminating the captivating convergence of air pollution and postmaster populations. As we continue to navigate this uncharted intersection of environmental science and labor dynamics, the unexpected twists and turns serve as beacons of merriment in the scholarly pursuit of truth.

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis conducted on the air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida for the period from 2003 to 2010 revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8554684. This correlation coefficient indicates a strong positive relationship between the two variables – a connection as robust as a parcel wrapped in layers of statistical significance. It seems that in the realm of environmental factors and occupational demographics, the link between air pollution and the postal workforce is as tangible as a well-sealed package! The p-value of less than 0.01 further supports the significance of this finding, providing compelling evidence that this relationship is not just a statistical fluke but a genuine entwining of atmospheric and administrative elements.
The r-squared value of 0.7318262 indicates that approximately 73% of the variability observed in the number of postmasters can be explained by the variations in air pollution levels. This finding suggests that the atmospheric quality in Pensacola may exert a substantial influence on the distribution and abundance of postmaster positions throughout Florida. It's as if the air pollution levels are not just blowing in the wind, but also leaving their mark on the occupational landscape of the postal service in the state – a realization that truly delivers a breath of fresh statistical air!
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the strong positive correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida. The data points align themselves with a sense of purpose, as if illustrating the harmonious relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data points are saying, "Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor pollution stays these postmasters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" – a nod to the steadfast dedication of both atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators in fulfilling their respective roles.
In conclusion, the results of this study offer a "sur-air-ising" insight into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. The findings not only underscore the impact of environmental factors on occupational demographics but also serve as a reminder that in the world of empirical inquiry, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-se" if we look at the data with a discerning eye.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Building upon the amusing yet substantive insights gleaned from the literature review, our study has successfully disentangled the enigmatic association between air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters statewide. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.8554684, supported by a p-value of less than 0.01, unequivocally confirms the unexpected bond between these seemingly unrelated variables. It appears that when it comes to atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators, there is more in the air than meets the eye – a revelation that delivers a comical yet statistically valid "air-mail"!

The findings of our study echo the resonance of prior research, particularly the work of Jones et al. (2015) and Smith and Doe (2018), who also detected significant associations between air quality indicators and workforce dynamics across different regions. This substantiation of our results underscores the solid ground on which our unexpected correlation stands, leaving no room for doubt – just like a well-tied knot in a postal package. Much like a letter delivered unexpectedly early, our study provides further credence to the unanticipated yet substantive relationship between atmospheric conditions and occupational distributions.

The r-squared value of 0.7318262 further bolsters the depth of our findings by elucidating that approximately 73% of the observed variability in the number of postmasters can be elucidated by variations in air pollution levels. This staggering proportion underscores the substantial influence of atmospheric quality in Pensacola on the abundance and dispersion of postmaster positions throughout Florida. Indeed, it seems that the breezes carrying pollutants are not just idly wafting through the air but are also actively shaping the landscape of the postal workforce in the state – a realization that truly "airs" insights into the interconnectedness of environmental and occupational elements.

The scatterplot visually encapsulates the manifest positive correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida. The alignment of data points seems purposeful, almost as if illustrating the harmonious relationship between these seemingly distinct variables. It's as if the data points are saying, "Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor pollution stays these postmasters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" – a nod to the unyielding dedication of both atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators in fulfilling their respective roles.

In summary, our study not only offers a "sur-air-ising" insight into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena but also exemplifies the veritable potential of interdisciplinary research. As we continue to unravel the interplay of environmental factors and labor dynamics, our findings serve as a lighthearted reminder that sometimes, with a discerning eye, the most unexpected connections can "air-se" when we least expect them.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida and The number of postmasters in Florida. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!

On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The relationship between environmental quality and occupational demographics has long been an area of interest for researchers aiming to understand the complex interplay of external factors on human systems. In this study, we investigate the unexpected connection between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. This unusual pairing may seem as out of place as a "stamp" on an email, but as we delved into the data, we found a correlation that was as clear as the "air" we breathe - and we're not "pulling your leg"!
Air quality, an important facet of public health and environmental science, is a pressing concern in many regions, including the pristine paradise of Pensacola. Given the prevalence of "sea"sonal hurricanes and tropical weather, one might expect the air to be just as "gulf"-y as the waters it adjoins - and indeed, our initial hypothesis suggested as much. However, the data told a different story, leading us to wonder if there was more to this correlation than "meets the eye" - a puzzle that kept us "air-borne" through the research process.
The occupational distribution within the postal service, particularly the number of postmaster positions, also captured our attention. While some may view the postal service as a "stamped"e of bureaucratic tradition, we sought to uncover any links between this workforce and the atmospheric conditions that envelop them. It's safe to say that we were "air-ly" excited to explore this avenue of inquiry, wondering if there was a "mail-able" explanation for the surprising relationship we uncovered.
Our study is not only an amusing anecdote but also a testament to the unpredictable nature of scientific inquiry. While the overlap between air quality and postmaster populations may seem as improbable as a postage stamp with an expiration date, we plunged into the statistical depths and emerged with compelling evidence of their behavioral co-mingling. Join us in this delightful journey of discovering the "air-rational" side of scientific investigation, where truth can be "signed, sealed, delivered" - and sometimes, sprinkled with a hint of unexpected humor!

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis conducted on the air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida for the period from 2003 to 2010 revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8554684. This correlation coefficient indicates a strong positive relationship between the two variables – a connection as robust as a parcel wrapped in layers of statistical significance. It seems that in the realm of environmental factors and occupational demographics, the link between air pollution and the postal workforce is as tangible as a well-sealed package! The p-value of less than 0.01 further supports the significance of this finding, providing compelling evidence that this relationship is not just a statistical fluke but a genuine entwining of atmospheric and administrative elements.
The r-squared value of 0.7318262 indicates that approximately 73% of the variability observed in the number of postmasters can be explained by the variations in air pollution levels. This finding suggests that the atmospheric quality in Pensacola may exert a substantial influence on the distribution and abundance of postmaster positions throughout Florida. It's as if the air pollution levels are not just blowing in the wind, but also leaving their mark on the occupational landscape of the postal service in the state – a realization that truly delivers a breath of fresh statistical air!
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the strong positive correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida. The data points align themselves with a sense of purpose, as if illustrating the harmonious relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data points are saying, "Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor pollution stays these postmasters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" – a nod to the steadfast dedication of both atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators in fulfilling their respective roles.
In conclusion, the results of this study offer a "sur-air-ising" insight into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. The findings not only underscore the impact of environmental factors on occupational demographics but also serve as a reminder that in the world of empirical inquiry, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-se" if we look at the data with a discerning eye.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, the results of this study provide compelling evidence of the unexpected relationship between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida. The robust correlation coefficient and the significance of the p-value reveal a connection as strong as the adhesive on an envelope. It seems that when it comes to these variables, there's more than just "air" in common - a pun that delivers like a well-timed knock-knock joke.

The high r-squared value suggests that the variations in air pollution levels explain a substantial portion of the variability observed in the number of postmasters. It's as if the air quality is not just influencing weather patterns, but also shaping the occupational landscape of the postal service in Florida. This unexpected finding is as surprising as checking the mail and finding a letter from a long-lost pen pal - it's unexpected, heartwarming, and makes you wonder about the mysteries of the universe.

The scatterplot visually captures the harmonious relationship between these seemingly disparate variables, making it seem like the data points are performing a choreographed routine. It's as if the plot is saying, "Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor pollution stays these postmasters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" - a sentiment that encapsulates the diligent dedication of atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators alike.

Our research has illuminated a curious connection between air pollution and the postal workforce, demonstrating that sometimes, statistical analysis yields findings as delightful as receiving a care package from a distant relative. It's a lesson in the unpredictability and mirth of scientific inquiry - a reminder that even in the most unlikely pairings, empirical investigation can "air-se" connections that expand our understanding of the world.

In light of these findings, it appears that no further research is needed in this area. This study has "sealed" the deal on the connection between air pollution in Pensacola, Florida, and the number of postmasters in Florida, leaving no room for doubt that this relationship is valid and worthy of scientific attention.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Environmental Humor Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Environmental Correspondence and Postal Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Postal Pollution: A Correlative Analysis of Air Quality in Pensacola, Florida and Postmaster Populations in Florida with an abstract of The aim of this study was to investigate the potential correlation between air pollution levels in Pensacola, Florida and the number of postmasters in Florida, using data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our research team undertook this investigation with the expectation of uncovering an obscure relationship - and the results did not disappoint! Employing a correlation coefficient of 0.8554684 and p < 0.01 for the period from 2003 to 2010, our findings revealed a surprisingly robust connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postmasters, there's more than just "air" common between them - a hypothesis that truly delivers "air-mail"!
On behalf of our team, we present these findings with both a sense of scientific rigor and a hint of amusement - after all, who would have thought that atmospheric contaminants and postal administrators could be so closely entwined? Our research not only sheds light on this curious relationship but also offers a new perspective on the potential impact of environmental factors on the postal workforce. This study contributes to the growing body of interdisciplinary research, showing that, just like the phenomenon we studied, sometimes the most unexpected connections can "air-rise" when we delve into the data.

ChatGPT:

postal pollution, air quality, Pensacola Florida, postmaster populations, correlation analysis, Environmental Protection Agency data, Bureau of Labor Statistics, correlation coefficient, atmospheric contaminants, interdisciplinary research

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida
Detailed data title: Percentage of days 'unhealthy' or worse air quality in Pensacola-Ferry Pass-Brent, FL
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida

The number of postmasters in Florida
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of postmasters and mail superintendents in Florida
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of postmasters in Florida

Correlation r = 0.8554684 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7318262 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 73.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of postmasters in Florida) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida) over the 8 years from 2003 through 2010.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.0068. 0.0067534032264576745000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.86 in 0.68% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 148 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 7 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 7 because we have two variables measured over a period of 8 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.38, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010
Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida (Bad air quality days)0.5479450.8264460.2747250.5479450.5479450.81967200.547945
The number of postmasters in Florida (Laborers)430430420430430430420430




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Very low n: There are not many data points included in this analysis. Even if the p-value is high, we should be suspicious of using so few datapoints in a correlation.
  5. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([0.547945,0.826446,0.274725,0.547945,0.547945,0.819672,0,0.547945,])
array_2 = np.array([430,430,420,430,430,430,420,430,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Pensacola, Florida"
array_2_name = "The number of postmasters in Florida"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 1754 · Black Variable ID: 21044 · Red Variable ID: 6396
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