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Spurious correlation #2,093 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Florida.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Fewer milk mustaches meant fewer dairy desperadoes on the loose, leading to a udderly unexpected drop in moo-tor vehicle thefts in the sunshine state. The lack of moo-vement in milk aisles left would-be thieves feeling utterly unmoo-tivated to engage in any criminal activity. Who knew that the road to safer streets in Florida was simply to mil-k it for all it's worth!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate a cozy and whimsical illustration of a person savoring a glass of milk at a quaint kitchen table. The individual should emanate a sense of contentment as they engage in this simple pleasure. Meanwhile, outside the window, depict a mischievous thief attempting to break into a car parked in the driveway. The contrasting scenes of serenity and potential danger should be captured in a charming and playful art style to create an intriguing visual narrative. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Woodblock painting Magic realism 3D Pixar Style Cutsy art illustration Photorealism
ChatGPT: Cutsy art illustration

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: A person enjoying a glass of milk at a kitchen table while outside the window, a thief tries to break into a car parked in the driveway.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cutsy art illustration ] and depicting this scene: A person enjoying a glass of milk at a kitchen table while outside the window, a thief tries to break into a car parked in the driveway. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate a cozy and whimsical illustration of a person savoring a glass of milk at a quaint kitchen table. The individual should emanate a sense of contentment as they engage in this simple pleasure. Meanwhile, outside the window, depict a mischievous thief attempting to break into a car parked in the driveway. The contrasting scenes of serenity and potential danger should be captured in a charming and playful art style to create an intriguing visual narrative.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Florida to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

The Journal of Dairy-Driven Deviance

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, make it sound serious.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

In the annals of criminal and dairy research, one may not expect to find a connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. However, as the saying goes, "Don't cry over spilled milk, but do investigate its role in crime." The aim of this study is to curdle any doubts about the potential linkage between these two seemingly disparate factors in the sunshine state of Florida.

While the concept of "got milk?" may conjure images of wholesome nutrition and milk mustaches, it appears that the question may also extend to an unexpected inquiry regarding vehicular security. As udderly unexpected as this correlation may seem, our research seeks to churn through the data to discern whether there is indeed a creamy relationship between the gallons of milk consumed and the number of motor vehicles stolen in Florida.

As we proceed, it is worth noting that while correlations do not imply causation, they do warrant a thorough investigation, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. The study, therefore, aims to milk every bit of insight from the data and skim the surface of the underlying factors that may contribute to this unexpected association.

Through this research, we endeavor to steer the field of criminology into uncharted territories, proving once again that in the world of statistical analysis, much like the contents of a milk carton, there is always more than meets the eye.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the annals of criminal and dairy research, one may not expect to find a connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. However, as the saying goes, "Don't cry over spilled milk, but do investigate its role in crime." The aim of this study is to curdle any doubts about the potential linkage between these two seemingly disparate factors in the sunshine state of Florida.
While the concept of "got milk?" may conjure images of wholesome nutrition and milk mustaches, it appears that the question may also extend to an unexpected inquiry regarding vehicular security. As udderly unexpected as this correlation may seem, our research seeks to churn through the data to discern whether there is indeed a creamy relationship between the gallons of milk consumed and the number of motor vehicles stolen in Florida.
As we proceed, it is worth noting that while correlations do not imply causation, they do warrant a thorough investigation, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. The study, therefore, aims to milk every bit of insight from the data and skim the surface of the underlying factors that may contribute to this unexpected association.
Through this research, we endeavor to steer the field of criminology into uncharted territories, proving once again that in the world of statistical analysis, much like the contents of a milk carton, there is always more than meets the eye.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

Several studies have examined the relationship between dietary factors and criminal behavior. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a comprehensive analysis of the impact of various food items on crime rates, including dairy products. Their findings revealed an intriguing association between milk consumption and property crimes in urban settings. Similarly, Doe et al. (2018) explored the potential links between calcium-rich foods and deviant behavior, shedding light on the role of dairy in criminal activities.

Jones et al. (2020) provided a detailed review of nutritional patterns and their implications for societal well-being, underscoring the need for further investigation into the interplay between dietary habits and criminal tendencies. These seminal works have laid the foundation for the present study, which seeks to forge new pathways in the domain of criminological inquiry by probing the potential nexus between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts.

In "Milk: The Surprising Story of Milk Through the Ages," the authors present a comprehensive overview of the cultural, economic, and nutritional significance of milk, offering valuable insights into its multifaceted influence on human society. While the focus of the text may not explicitly pertain to crime, its exploration of milk's pervasive presence in human history serves as a poignant backdrop for considering the unexpected implications of dairy consumption on criminal activities.

Conversely, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon, a work of fiction with an enigmatic premise, delves into the realm of unexpected connections and hidden truths. While seemingly unrelated to the topic at hand, this literary account serves as a gentle reminder that beneath the surface of apparently incongruous phenomena, there may lurk unsuspected correlations waiting to be unearthed.

As the investigation unfolds, it is prudent to draw inspiration from the game "Clue," wherein players must navigate a web of intricate relationships and unexpected revelations to solve a mystery. Much like the elements of this classic board game, the pursuit of understanding the potential association between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts may involve navigating convoluted pathways of investigation and unanticipated connections, ultimately leading to a revelatory denouement.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the annals of criminal and dairy research, one may not expect to find a connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. However, as the saying goes, "Don't cry over spilled milk, but do investigate its role in crime." The aim of this study is to curdle any doubts about the potential linkage between these two seemingly disparate factors in the sunshine state of Florida.
While the concept of "got milk?" may conjure images of wholesome nutrition and milk mustaches, it appears that the question may also extend to an unexpected inquiry regarding vehicular security. As udderly unexpected as this correlation may seem, our research seeks to churn through the data to discern whether there is indeed a creamy relationship between the gallons of milk consumed and the number of motor vehicles stolen in Florida.
As we proceed, it is worth noting that while correlations do not imply causation, they do warrant a thorough investigation, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. The study, therefore, aims to milk every bit of insight from the data and skim the surface of the underlying factors that may contribute to this unexpected association.
Through this research, we endeavor to steer the field of criminology into uncharted territories, proving once again that in the world of statistical analysis, much like the contents of a milk carton, there is always more than meets the eye.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection
The primary data sources for this study were the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services. The USDA provided comprehensive data on milk consumption in Florida, encompassing volumes of whole milk, reduced-fat milk, low-fat milk, and flavored milk from 1990 to 2021. The FBI's database furnished the pertinent information regarding motor vehicle thefts in Florida over the same timeframe.

Agricultural and criminal justice databases were meticulously combed through, akin to searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack, to extract the relevant information on milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. This process was undoubtedly a challenging endeavor, comparable to navigating through a labyrinthine corn maze, but the data ultimately emerged victoriously from the digital thicket.

Data Analysis
To assess the potential correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, a series of statistical analyses were conducted. First, the data from both sources were cleansed and transformed, reminiscent of the process of separating cream from milk. The correlation coefficient was then calculated, employing a method akin to churning, resulting in the identification of a remarkably high coefficient of 0.9240119.

Furthermore, a significance level of p < 0.01 was established through rigorous hypothesis testing, indicating that the observed correlation was highly unlikely to have occurred by chance. This statistical feat was achieved with a level of certainty comparable to that of distinguishing between skim milk and whole milk in a blind taste test.

The analytical process was a precise endeavor, akin to the calibration of a milking machine, ensuring that the insights gleaned from the data were both accurate and udderly reliable.

Conclusion
The research findings uncovered a compelling association between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida. While the underlying mechanisms behind this correlation remain shrouded in mystery, the results prompt further investigation into this unorthodox relationship. The implications of this research resonate throughout the fields of criminology and dairy science, challenging conventional wisdom and prompting novel inquiries into the interplay of seemingly unrelated variables.

It is evident that the idiosyncratic nature of this correlation demands a deeper understanding of the potential mechanisms at play. Our research endeavors to shift the paradigm of crime analysis, emphasizing that, in the world of statistical inquiry, unexpected connections can emerge, much like finding the last slice of cheese at the back of the refrigerator.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9240119, r-squared of 0.8537980, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the annals of criminal and dairy research, one may not expect to find a connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. However, as the saying goes, "Don't cry over spilled milk, but do investigate its role in crime." The aim of this study is to curdle any doubts about the potential linkage between these two seemingly disparate factors in the sunshine state of Florida.
While the concept of "got milk?" may conjure images of wholesome nutrition and milk mustaches, it appears that the question may also extend to an unexpected inquiry regarding vehicular security. As udderly unexpected as this correlation may seem, our research seeks to churn through the data to discern whether there is indeed a creamy relationship between the gallons of milk consumed and the number of motor vehicles stolen in Florida.
As we proceed, it is worth noting that while correlations do not imply causation, they do warrant a thorough investigation, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. The study, therefore, aims to milk every bit of insight from the data and skim the surface of the underlying factors that may contribute to this unexpected association.
Through this research, we endeavor to steer the field of criminology into uncharted territories, proving once again that in the world of statistical analysis, much like the contents of a milk carton, there is always more than meets the eye.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida. This correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.8537980, suggesting that approximately 85.4% of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variations in milk consumption. The p-value of less than 0.01 provided compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant.

Additionally, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the robust positive relationship between these two variables, leaving little room for doubt regarding the striking nature of the association. Each data point on the plot appears to exclaim, "Holy cow! Look at us go!"

In the realm of unexpected correlations, the connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida certainly stands out as a prominent example. While it may seem utterly unbelievable, these findings underscore the potential impact of dairy dynamics on crime trends, prompting a rethink of the role of milk in the state's criminal milieu.

In conclusion, these results necessitate further empirical investigation and theoretical exploration to unravel the underlying mechanisms linking milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. As the findings continue to lactate interest in the field of criminology, they emphasize the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the diverse factors influencing criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to understanding crime, it's always wisest to approach the matter from a variety of angles, even if it means taking a detour through the dairy aisle.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Several studies have examined the relationship between dietary factors and criminal behavior. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a comprehensive analysis of the impact of various food items on crime rates, including dairy products. Their findings revealed an intriguing association between milk consumption and property crimes in urban settings. Similarly, Doe et al. (2018) explored the potential links between calcium-rich foods and deviant behavior, shedding light on the role of dairy in criminal activities.
Jones et al. (2020) provided a detailed review of nutritional patterns and their implications for societal well-being, underscoring the need for further investigation into the interplay between dietary habits and criminal tendencies. These seminal works have laid the foundation for the present study, which seeks to forge new pathways in the domain of criminological inquiry by probing the potential nexus between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts.
In "Milk: The Surprising Story of Milk Through the Ages," the authors present a comprehensive overview of the cultural, economic, and nutritional significance of milk, offering valuable insights into its multifaceted influence on human society. While the focus of the text may not explicitly pertain to crime, its exploration of milk's pervasive presence in human history serves as a poignant backdrop for considering the unexpected implications of dairy consumption on criminal activities.
Conversely, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon, a work of fiction with an enigmatic premise, delves into the realm of unexpected connections and hidden truths. While seemingly unrelated to the topic at hand, this literary account serves as a gentle reminder that beneath the surface of apparently incongruous phenomena, there may lurk unsuspected correlations waiting to be unearthed.
As the investigation unfolds, it is prudent to draw inspiration from the game "Clue," wherein players must navigate a web of intricate relationships and unexpected revelations to solve a mystery. Much like the elements of this classic board game, the pursuit of understanding the potential association between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts may involve navigating convoluted pathways of investigation and unanticipated connections, ultimately leading to a revelatory denouement.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida. This correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.8537980, suggesting that approximately 85.4% of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variations in milk consumption. The p-value of less than 0.01 provided compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant.
Additionally, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the robust positive relationship between these two variables, leaving little room for doubt regarding the striking nature of the association. Each data point on the plot appears to exclaim, "Holy cow! Look at us go!"
In the realm of unexpected correlations, the connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida certainly stands out as a prominent example. While it may seem utterly unbelievable, these findings underscore the potential impact of dairy dynamics on crime trends, prompting a rethink of the role of milk in the state's criminal milieu.
In conclusion, these results necessitate further empirical investigation and theoretical exploration to unravel the underlying mechanisms linking milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. As the findings continue to lactate interest in the field of criminology, they emphasize the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the diverse factors influencing criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to understanding crime, it's always wisest to approach the matter from a variety of angles, even if it means taking a detour through the dairy aisle.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of the present study corroborate the pioneering work of Smith et al. (2015) and Doe et al. (2018), who first hinted at the potential linkage between dairy consumption and criminal activities. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 observed in our investigation aligns with the prior literature, affirming the existence of a compelling association between milk intake and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. This unexpected nexus may have elicited reactions ranging from "Got milk? Got crime!" to "Don't have a cow, man," but it undeniably underscores the need for further exploration into the subtle yet evidently impactful interplay between dietary habits and criminal propensities.

Intriguingly, the conspicuousness of this correlation challenges traditional criminological paradigms, signaling that factors beyond conventional considerations may contribute significantly to criminal behaviors. Indeed, as Jones et al. (2020) intimated in their comprehensive review of nutritional patterns, our findings accentuate the imperative to broaden the scope of criminological inquiry to encompass seemingly unrelated variables. The research endeavor takes a page out of the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon, wherein unexpected connections and hidden truths serve as a reminder that unanticipated correlations may lurk within the seemingly disparate realms of milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts.

Moreover, the present study echoes the sentiment conveyed by the classic board game "Clue," in which uncovering concealed relationships and unexpected revelations is instrumental in solving the mystery at hand. Similarly, our investigation navigates the convoluted pathways of unconventional associations to unearth the surprising connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, ultimately yielding a revelatory denouement in the form of a robust statistical relationship that demands further scrutiny.

The compelling nature of the correlation coefficient, when coupled with the visually striking scatterplot, prompts a reevaluation of the multifaceted role of milk in the domain of criminal behavior. The robust positive relationship illustrated in the scatterplot figuratively causes each data point to exclaim, "Holy cow! Look at us go!" This unexpected correlation underscores the potential impact of dairy dynamics on crime trends, emphasizing the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the diverse factors influencing criminal behavior. Indeed, in the pursuit of comprehending crime trends, it remains germane to approach the matter from a variety of angles, even if it means taking a detour through the dairy aisle.

These intriguing findings warrant further exploratory research to delve into the intricate mechanisms that underlie the observed correlation, as unraveling the intricate web of relationships between milk consumption and criminal activities stands as an imperative task for future inquiry. As the field of criminology continues to lactate interest in this unorthodox correlation, it holds promise for shedding light on the multifaceted and unexpected dynamics that shape criminal behaviors.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Florida. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the annals of criminal and dairy research, one may not expect to find a connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. However, as the saying goes, "Don't cry over spilled milk, but do investigate its role in crime." The aim of this study is to curdle any doubts about the potential linkage between these two seemingly disparate factors in the sunshine state of Florida.
While the concept of "got milk?" may conjure images of wholesome nutrition and milk mustaches, it appears that the question may also extend to an unexpected inquiry regarding vehicular security. As udderly unexpected as this correlation may seem, our research seeks to churn through the data to discern whether there is indeed a creamy relationship between the gallons of milk consumed and the number of motor vehicles stolen in Florida.
As we proceed, it is worth noting that while correlations do not imply causation, they do warrant a thorough investigation, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. The study, therefore, aims to milk every bit of insight from the data and skim the surface of the underlying factors that may contribute to this unexpected association.
Through this research, we endeavor to steer the field of criminology into uncharted territories, proving once again that in the world of statistical analysis, much like the contents of a milk carton, there is always more than meets the eye.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida. This correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.8537980, suggesting that approximately 85.4% of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variations in milk consumption. The p-value of less than 0.01 provided compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant.
Additionally, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the robust positive relationship between these two variables, leaving little room for doubt regarding the striking nature of the association. Each data point on the plot appears to exclaim, "Holy cow! Look at us go!"
In the realm of unexpected correlations, the connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Florida certainly stands out as a prominent example. While it may seem utterly unbelievable, these findings underscore the potential impact of dairy dynamics on crime trends, prompting a rethink of the role of milk in the state's criminal milieu.
In conclusion, these results necessitate further empirical investigation and theoretical exploration to unravel the underlying mechanisms linking milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. As the findings continue to lactate interest in the field of criminology, they emphasize the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the diverse factors influencing criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to understanding crime, it's always wisest to approach the matter from a variety of angles, even if it means taking a detour through the dairy aisle.

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Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In culmination, the findings of this research endeavor highlight a striking correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. The robust statistical evidence presented in this study, akin to a lactose-intolerant individual facing a cheese buffet, leaves little room for doubt regarding the surprising relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. The high correlation coefficient and r-squared value urge us to milk every bit of insight from these findings and churn through the underlying mechanisms that may explain this unusual association.

The unexpected nature of this correlation, like finding a needle in a haystack, emphasizes the need to scrutinize unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends, as there may be more than meets the eye in this milky mystery. These results, much like a compelling mystery novel, beckon for further empirical investigation and theoretical exploration, pushing the boundaries of conventional criminological inquiry.

While one may be tempted to cry over spilled milk, it is imperative to recognize the potential impact of dairy dynamics on crime trends, prompting a rethink of the role of milk in the state's criminal milieu. As the scatterplot visually illustrates the robust positive relationship between these variables, it seems that each data point on the plot is clamoring, "Holy cow! Look at us go!"

These findings, much like a glass of milk, are wholesome and leave a lasting impression, urging the field of criminology to embrace the unexpected and take the road less traveled. However, it is important to note that the correlation established by this study does not imply causation, as correlation does not necessarily entail a cause-and-effect relationship.

Therefore, in summary, the present research underscores the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the diverse factors influencing criminal behavior. It is clear that the implications of these findings demand further exploration but it is my recommendation that no more research is needed in this area.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy-Driven Deviance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Dairy-Driven Criminology Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Milky Whey: Investigating the Correlation Between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Florida with an abstract of This study delves into the relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Florida. Utilizing data collected from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1990 through 2021, our research team sought to elucidate the potential association between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9240119 was established, with a significance level of p < 0.01. The implications of these findings, while undeniably surprising, suggest a need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms at play. This research adds a lactose-tolerant perspective to the field of criminology and underscores the importance of scrutinizing unorthodox variables in the study of crime trends.

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, motor vehicle thefts, correlation, Florida, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, statistical analysis, correlation coefficient, significance level, crime trends

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Florida
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Florida
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Florida

Correlation r = 0.9240119 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8537980 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 85.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Florida) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.6E-14. 0.0000000000000463539641067575
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 4.6E-12% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 21,573,127,978,805 random variables You don't actually need 21 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.85, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Motor vehicle thefts in Florida (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)826.3783.6828895.7911.5785.8720.6731.5698.9616.7558549.2530.3479.8450.5423.8422.6403.4346.5271.1220.1207.6193.2178.1181.8200.8208.8204.6193.8181.9168.799




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([826.3,783.6,828,895.7,911.5,785.8,720.6,731.5,698.9,616.7,558,549.2,530.3,479.8,450.5,423.8,422.6,403.4,346.5,271.1,220.1,207.6,193.2,178.1,181.8,200.8,208.8,204.6,193.8,181.9,168.7,99,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Florida"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 2093 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20180
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