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Spurious correlation #2,995 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is American cheese consumption and the second variable is Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).  The chart goes from 2002 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As American cheese consumption increased, so did the demand for cheese slicers. This led to higher-than-expected sales for Agilent Technologies, the leading manufacturer of precision cheese slicer components. With their newfound success in the dairy industry, investors couldn't help but pour more money into Agilent, causing their stock price to soar. It's a gouda day for Agilent indeed!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [ Data cyber art ] Prompt: Generate an image of a group of people joyfully indulging in cheesy meals, with American cheese flowing abundantly from their burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. Their smiles widen as they relish the cheesy goodness. In the background, a digital display shows the stock price for Agilent Technologies steadily increasing, reflecting the elevated confidence and happiness resulting from the cheesy indulgence. The scene should exude contentment and satisfaction. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Data cyber art Parallax art Macabre Voxel art Celtic art
ChatGPT: Data cyber art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A), in the following situation: As more people smothered their food in American cheese, they felt "grateful" for the savory experience. This increased their overall happiness which in turn led to more confidence in the stock market, including Agilent Technologies, causing their stock price to rise. It's all about that cheddar, baby!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: A group of people happily enjoying their meals, with generous amounts of American cheese dripping from their burgers and oozing out of their grilled cheese sandwiches. As they savor the cheesy goodness, their smiles widen, and a sense of contentment fills the air. In the background, the stock price for Agilent Technologies steadily climbs on a digital display, reflecting the increased confidence and happiness from the cheesy indulgence.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Data cyber art ] and depicting this scene: A group of people happily enjoying their meals, with generous amounts of American cheese dripping from their burgers and oozing out of their grilled cheese sandwiches. As they savor the cheesy goodness, their smiles widen, and a sense of contentment fills the air. In the background, the stock price for Agilent Technologies steadily climbs on a digital display, reflecting the increased confidence and happiness from the cheesy indulgence. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [ Data cyber art ] Prompt: Generate an image of a group of people joyfully indulging in cheesy meals, with American cheese flowing abundantly from their burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. Their smiles widen as they relish the cheesy goodness. In the background, a digital display shows the stock price for Agilent Technologies steadily increasing, reflecting the elevated confidence and happiness resulting from the cheesy indulgence. The scene should exude contentment and satisfaction.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in American cheese consumption caused Agilent Technologies' stock price (A) to increase.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

Journal of Dairy Finance

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, make it sound serious.

Your research team used data from USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 and p < 0.01 for 2002 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

In the world of finance, there are countless factors, from interest rates to geopolitical events, that are believed to influence stock prices. However, one factor that has remained curiously unexplored is the consumption of American cheese. While it may seem cheesy (pun intended), our research has uncovered a compelling correlation between the consumption of this beloved dairy product and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).

The bond between American cheese consumption and stock prices may sound like something out of a dairy-themed science fiction novel, but our findings are rooted in robust empirical analysis. Our study delves into the realm of cheddar economics, a field that has remained largely uncharted because, let's face it, who would have gouda thunk that American cheese and stock prices could be related?

The correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 that we unearthed is not only astounding but also begs the question: are we witnessing a queso-miracle or merely a fluke in the data? To add a dash of statistical rigor to the mix, we've also identified a p-value of less than 0.01, solidifying the statistical significance of this seemingly whimsical relationship.

As we embark on this unconventional journey of unraveling the mysterious connection between curds and commerce, we invite readers to embrace the lighthearted nature of our investigation. After all, in the world of economics, where jargon and complex models often reign supreme, a slice of humor is a refreshing change. So, let's grate our way through this gouda research and explore the pecorino-nomics of American cheese consumption and stock prices.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the world of finance, there are countless factors, from interest rates to geopolitical events, that are believed to influence stock prices. However, one factor that has remained curiously unexplored is the consumption of American cheese. While it may seem cheesy (pun intended), our research has uncovered a compelling correlation between the consumption of this beloved dairy product and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).
The bond between American cheese consumption and stock prices may sound like something out of a dairy-themed science fiction novel, but our findings are rooted in robust empirical analysis. Our study delves into the realm of cheddar economics, a field that has remained largely uncharted because, let's face it, who would have gouda thunk that American cheese and stock prices could be related?
The correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 that we unearthed is not only astounding but also begs the question: are we witnessing a queso-miracle or merely a fluke in the data? To add a dash of statistical rigor to the mix, we've also identified a p-value of less than 0.01, solidifying the statistical significance of this seemingly whimsical relationship.
As we embark on this unconventional journey of unraveling the mysterious connection between curds and commerce, we invite readers to embrace the lighthearted nature of our investigation. After all, in the world of economics, where jargon and complex models often reign supreme, a slice of humor is a refreshing change. So, let's grate our way through this gouda research and explore the pecorino-nomics of American cheese consumption and stock prices.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

As the field of cheddar economics is still in its infancy, the existing literature on the relationship between American cheese consumption and stock prices is rather sparse. However, several notable studies have touched on tangentially related topics, providing insights that could potentially inform our inquiry.

Smith and Doe (2015) explored the impact of dairy product exports on the fluctuation of dairy futures, shedding light on the intricate dynamics of the dairy market. While their focus was on international trade, their findings hint at the broader implications of dairy products on financial landscapes. Similarly, Jones (2018) delved into the sensory perception of cheese and its effect on consumer behavior, emphasizing the emotional and psychological dimensions of cheese consumption. These studies underscore the multifaceted nature of cheese-related phenomena, setting the stage for our investigation into the enigmatic connection between American cheese and stock prices.

Moving beyond traditional economic literature, several non-fiction works offer compelling insights into the world of dairy products and their societal impact. "The Cheese Trap" by Neal D. Barnard delves into the health implications of cheese consumption, drawing attention to its addictive nature and potential consequences for public health. Meanwhile, "Big Cheese: A True Story of an Epic Power Struggle" by Andrew Baber exposes the behind-the-scenes developments in the cheese industry, unveiling the high-stakes world of dairy product production. While these works may not directly address stock prices, their exploration of the cheese industry at large provides nuanced perspectives that inform our understanding of American cheese's potential influence on financial markets.

Transitioning into a slightly more whimsical realm of literature, fictional works such as "The Swiss Cheese Permutation" by Kevin Sussman and "Murder with Macaroni and Cheese" by A.L. Herbert offer entertaining narratives that center around the culinary world. While these novels may not offer empirical evidence, their playful portrayal of cheese-themed stories resonates with our lighthearted approach to cheddar economics.

In a bold move to diversify our sources, our research team also turned to unconventional mediums for inspiration. The animated series "Wallace and Gromit" and the whimsical children's book "The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales" by Jon Scieszka provided a delightful departure from traditional research sources. While these sources may not directly relate to stock prices, their exploration of cheesy narratives has undoubtedly sparked creativity within our research team, igniting a sense of playful curiosity as we navigate the uncharted territory of cheese-influenced financial indicators.

In addition to the scholarly and literary works, our foray into the world of cheese-themed entertainment has underscored the potential for unconventional sources to shape our understanding of the interconnectedness between American cheese consumption and stock prices. With an open mind and a sprinkling of humor, we embark on this scholarly pursuit, fully embracing the quirky and delightful nuances of cheddar economics.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) . You used data from 2002 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the world of finance, there are countless factors, from interest rates to geopolitical events, that are believed to influence stock prices. However, one factor that has remained curiously unexplored is the consumption of American cheese. While it may seem cheesy (pun intended), our research has uncovered a compelling correlation between the consumption of this beloved dairy product and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).
The bond between American cheese consumption and stock prices may sound like something out of a dairy-themed science fiction novel, but our findings are rooted in robust empirical analysis. Our study delves into the realm of cheddar economics, a field that has remained largely uncharted because, let's face it, who would have gouda thunk that American cheese and stock prices could be related?
The correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 that we unearthed is not only astounding but also begs the question: are we witnessing a queso-miracle or merely a fluke in the data? To add a dash of statistical rigor to the mix, we've also identified a p-value of less than 0.01, solidifying the statistical significance of this seemingly whimsical relationship.
As we embark on this unconventional journey of unraveling the mysterious connection between curds and commerce, we invite readers to embrace the lighthearted nature of our investigation. After all, in the world of economics, where jargon and complex models often reign supreme, a slice of humor is a refreshing change. So, let's grate our way through this gouda research and explore the pecorino-nomics of American cheese consumption and stock prices.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To dive into the delectably eccentric realm of cheddar economics, our research team embarked on a journey that involved navigating through mounds of data, as well as savoring the occasional cheesy snack to keep our spirits high. Our methodology can be likened to a fine cheese fondue - a blend of precision, creativity, and a hint of whimsy.

Data Collection:
First and foremost, we scoured the annals of the internet, navigating through the digital dairy land to gather data on American cheese consumption. We primarily relied on sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) for comprehensive cheese consumption figures. To ensure a balanced diet of data, we also tapped into LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), leveraging their extensive financial databases to extract the stock price history of Agilent Technologies (ticker symbol: A). This multifaceted approach allowed us to encapsulate the creamy nuances of American cheese consumption and the fluctuating fortunes of Agilent Technologies.

Cheese-Stock Price Alignment Assessment:
With data in hand, we initiated the peculiar task of aligning American cheese consumption figures with the stock price oscillations of Agilent Technologies. This involved employing a series of mathematical maneuvers that can only be likened to a game of financial Tetris. In the process, we deftly maneuvered through statistical software, employing quintessentially cheesy techniques such as linear regression and correlation analysis to tease out the subtle connection between these seemingly unrelated variables.

Exclusion Criteria:
To ensure that our findings weren't victim to the vagaries of outlier events, we established exclusion criteria that are as stringent as separating the cream from the whey. Outlying data points were scrutinized with the same intensity as a cheese connoisseur examining a pungent blue cheese, ensuring that our analysis remained as sharp as a well-aged cheddar.

Statistical Analysis:
Armed with the precision of an artisanal cheese slicer, we subjected our data to rigorous statistical analysis. The objective? To not only uncover the correlation coefficient between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price but also to validate the robustness of this connection. Measures of statistical significance, including p-values and confidence intervals, were brandished like culinary utensils, adding a touch of mathematical rigor to our study.

Anchored in this meticulously crafted methodology, our analysis delved deep into the intriguing nexus of cheese consumption and stock prices. As we present the findings of this unconventional investigation, we invite readers to savor the whimsical charm that underpins the fervor of cheddar economics.

(End of response)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) .

For the time period 2002 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9193142, r-squared of 0.8451385, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the world of finance, there are countless factors, from interest rates to geopolitical events, that are believed to influence stock prices. However, one factor that has remained curiously unexplored is the consumption of American cheese. While it may seem cheesy (pun intended), our research has uncovered a compelling correlation between the consumption of this beloved dairy product and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).
The bond between American cheese consumption and stock prices may sound like something out of a dairy-themed science fiction novel, but our findings are rooted in robust empirical analysis. Our study delves into the realm of cheddar economics, a field that has remained largely uncharted because, let's face it, who would have gouda thunk that American cheese and stock prices could be related?
The correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 that we unearthed is not only astounding but also begs the question: are we witnessing a queso-miracle or merely a fluke in the data? To add a dash of statistical rigor to the mix, we've also identified a p-value of less than 0.01, solidifying the statistical significance of this seemingly whimsical relationship.
As we embark on this unconventional journey of unraveling the mysterious connection between curds and commerce, we invite readers to embrace the lighthearted nature of our investigation. After all, in the world of economics, where jargon and complex models often reign supreme, a slice of humor is a refreshing change. So, let's grate our way through this gouda research and explore the pecorino-nomics of American cheese consumption and stock prices.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our investigation into the unlikely link between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A) left us feeling gratefully surprised. Our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, indicating a tight relationship between the two variables. In other words, it seems that the path to financial success might just be paved with cheese!

The r-squared value of 0.8451385 further emphasizes the robustness of the relationship, suggesting that a whopping 84.51% of the variation in Agilent Technologies' stock price can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. And to put it in even plainer terms, it's like saying that whenever someone slices into a juicy grilled cheese sandwich, Agilent's stock price is likely to have a gouda day in the market.

Now, for those skeptics out there, we know what you're thinking - is this just a fluke in the data or is there something more cheddarful at play? Well, fear not, dear skeptics, because our p-value of less than 0.01 puts any doubts to rest. That's right, the statistical significance of this correlation is as strong as the aroma of a freshly opened package of American cheese.

To visually encapsulate the profound link we uncovered, we present the pièce de résistance of our paper - Fig. 1. This scatterplot graphically demonstrates the impressive correlation between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price, leaving little room for skepticism and a whole lot of room for cheesy puns.

In conclusion, our findings not only add a slice of humor to the often buttoned-up world of economic research but also beckon us to rethink the conventional wisdom about what truly drives stock prices. From queso-miracles to cheddarful insights, the world of finance may just have a delectable new flavor, and it's none other than American cheese.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
As the field of cheddar economics is still in its infancy, the existing literature on the relationship between American cheese consumption and stock prices is rather sparse. However, several notable studies have touched on tangentially related topics, providing insights that could potentially inform our inquiry.
Smith and Doe (2015) explored the impact of dairy product exports on the fluctuation of dairy futures, shedding light on the intricate dynamics of the dairy market. While their focus was on international trade, their findings hint at the broader implications of dairy products on financial landscapes. Similarly, Jones (2018) delved into the sensory perception of cheese and its effect on consumer behavior, emphasizing the emotional and psychological dimensions of cheese consumption. These studies underscore the multifaceted nature of cheese-related phenomena, setting the stage for our investigation into the enigmatic connection between American cheese and stock prices.
Moving beyond traditional economic literature, several non-fiction works offer compelling insights into the world of dairy products and their societal impact. "The Cheese Trap" by Neal D. Barnard delves into the health implications of cheese consumption, drawing attention to its addictive nature and potential consequences for public health. Meanwhile, "Big Cheese: A True Story of an Epic Power Struggle" by Andrew Baber exposes the behind-the-scenes developments in the cheese industry, unveiling the high-stakes world of dairy product production. While these works may not directly address stock prices, their exploration of the cheese industry at large provides nuanced perspectives that inform our understanding of American cheese's potential influence on financial markets.
Transitioning into a slightly more whimsical realm of literature, fictional works such as "The Swiss Cheese Permutation" by Kevin Sussman and "Murder with Macaroni and Cheese" by A.L. Herbert offer entertaining narratives that center around the culinary world. While these novels may not offer empirical evidence, their playful portrayal of cheese-themed stories resonates with our lighthearted approach to cheddar economics.
In a bold move to diversify our sources, our research team also turned to unconventional mediums for inspiration. The animated series "Wallace and Gromit" and the whimsical children's book "The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales" by Jon Scieszka provided a delightful departure from traditional research sources. While these sources may not directly relate to stock prices, their exploration of cheesy narratives has undoubtedly sparked creativity within our research team, igniting a sense of playful curiosity as we navigate the uncharted territory of cheese-influenced financial indicators.
In addition to the scholarly and literary works, our foray into the world of cheese-themed entertainment has underscored the potential for unconventional sources to shape our understanding of the interconnectedness between American cheese consumption and stock prices. With an open mind and a sprinkling of humor, we embark on this scholarly pursuit, fully embracing the quirky and delightful nuances of cheddar economics.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation into the unlikely link between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A) left us feeling gratefully surprised. Our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, indicating a tight relationship between the two variables. In other words, it seems that the path to financial success might just be paved with cheese!
The r-squared value of 0.8451385 further emphasizes the robustness of the relationship, suggesting that a whopping 84.51% of the variation in Agilent Technologies' stock price can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. And to put it in even plainer terms, it's like saying that whenever someone slices into a juicy grilled cheese sandwich, Agilent's stock price is likely to have a gouda day in the market.
Now, for those skeptics out there, we know what you're thinking - is this just a fluke in the data or is there something more cheddarful at play? Well, fear not, dear skeptics, because our p-value of less than 0.01 puts any doubts to rest. That's right, the statistical significance of this correlation is as strong as the aroma of a freshly opened package of American cheese.
To visually encapsulate the profound link we uncovered, we present the pièce de résistance of our paper - Fig. 1. This scatterplot graphically demonstrates the impressive correlation between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price, leaving little room for skepticism and a whole lot of room for cheesy puns.
In conclusion, our findings not only add a slice of humor to the often buttoned-up world of economic research but also beckon us to rethink the conventional wisdom about what truly drives stock prices. From queso-miracles to cheddarful insights, the world of finance may just have a delectable new flavor, and it's none other than American cheese.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have added some pizzazz to the rather bland landscape of stock market research. While the notion of American cheese consumption influencing Agilent Technologies' stock price may initially evoke a chuckle or two, our results seriously substantiate the playful inklings presented in the literature review. Smith and Doe's elucidation of dairy product exports as a factor in dairy futures, akin to the influence of cheese on stock prices, becomes all the more "gouda" with our significant correlation coefficient. Similarly, Jones' exploration of the emotional and psychological aspects of cheese consumption finds resonance in our unexpected discovery, proving that cheese can indeed stir up more than just cravings.

The statistical robustness of our findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 and an r-squared value of 0.8451385, not only adds weight to the evidence of this unique correlation but also serves as a testament to the potential impact of cheese on financial markets. The p-value of less than 0.01 acts as the proverbial cherry on top of our cheesy cheesecake, dispelling any doubt surrounding the validity of our findings and firmly establishing the legitimacy of our discovery.

This investigation, while undoubtedly unconventional, has shed light on the nuanced and multifaceted nature of economic indicators. The whimsical charm of our research does not diminish the significance of our findings; on the contrary, it serves as a refreshing departure from the often dour world of economic analysis, enriching the discourse with a sprinkle of cheese-inspired levity.

In conclusion, our study not only deepens our understanding of the intricate interplay between American cheese consumption and stock prices but also reaffirms the need to embrace curiosity and humor in scholarly pursuits. The existence of a tangible correlation between the consumption of American cheese and Agilent Technologies' stock price invites further exploration into the unexplored quirks of financial markets and encourages a more light-hearted approach to economic research. As we venture forth into this uncharted territory of "cheesonomics," let us savor the cheesy delight it brings to the world of academia and finance.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the world of finance, there are countless factors, from interest rates to geopolitical events, that are believed to influence stock prices. However, one factor that has remained curiously unexplored is the consumption of American cheese. While it may seem cheesy (pun intended), our research has uncovered a compelling correlation between the consumption of this beloved dairy product and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A).
The bond between American cheese consumption and stock prices may sound like something out of a dairy-themed science fiction novel, but our findings are rooted in robust empirical analysis. Our study delves into the realm of cheddar economics, a field that has remained largely uncharted because, let's face it, who would have gouda thunk that American cheese and stock prices could be related?
The correlation coefficient of 0.9193142 that we unearthed is not only astounding but also begs the question: are we witnessing a queso-miracle or merely a fluke in the data? To add a dash of statistical rigor to the mix, we've also identified a p-value of less than 0.01, solidifying the statistical significance of this seemingly whimsical relationship.
As we embark on this unconventional journey of unraveling the mysterious connection between curds and commerce, we invite readers to embrace the lighthearted nature of our investigation. After all, in the world of economics, where jargon and complex models often reign supreme, a slice of humor is a refreshing change. So, let's grate our way through this gouda research and explore the pecorino-nomics of American cheese consumption and stock prices.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation into the unlikely link between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price (A) left us feeling gratefully surprised. Our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, indicating a tight relationship between the two variables. In other words, it seems that the path to financial success might just be paved with cheese!
The r-squared value of 0.8451385 further emphasizes the robustness of the relationship, suggesting that a whopping 84.51% of the variation in Agilent Technologies' stock price can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. And to put it in even plainer terms, it's like saying that whenever someone slices into a juicy grilled cheese sandwich, Agilent's stock price is likely to have a gouda day in the market.
Now, for those skeptics out there, we know what you're thinking - is this just a fluke in the data or is there something more cheddarful at play? Well, fear not, dear skeptics, because our p-value of less than 0.01 puts any doubts to rest. That's right, the statistical significance of this correlation is as strong as the aroma of a freshly opened package of American cheese.
To visually encapsulate the profound link we uncovered, we present the pièce de résistance of our paper - Fig. 1. This scatterplot graphically demonstrates the impressive correlation between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price, leaving little room for skepticism and a whole lot of room for cheesy puns.
In conclusion, our findings not only add a slice of humor to the often buttoned-up world of economic research but also beckon us to rethink the conventional wisdom about what truly drives stock prices. From queso-miracles to cheddarful insights, the world of finance may just have a delectable new flavor, and it's none other than American cheese.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we wrap up this gouda-filled journey through the wacky world of cheddar economics, it's clear that the correlation between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price is no mere fluke. The statistical significance of this relationship is as solid as a block of aged cheddar, and our findings have melted away any doubts like a slice of cheese on a hot sandwich.

The implications of our research are nothing short of gouda news for investors. It seems that keeping an eye on cheese consumption could very well be the key to predicting stock market movements. So, next time you're about to buy or sell stocks, don't forget to check the deli aisle!

However, we must also acknowledge that the age-old question of "What's up with the cheese?" still lingers. The mechanism behind this connection remains a bit of a mystery, akin to the enigma of the elusive hole in Swiss cheese. Perhaps there's a deeper cultural or psychological aspect at play, and we just can't seem to brieak through it with our current data.

In any case, it's time to cut the cheese and conclude that our findings bring a fresh perspective to the often feta-heavy field of stock market analysis. While some may find our research a bit cheesy, we stand firm in our belief that it adds a delightful note of whimsy to the world of finance.

With that said, we confidently declare that further research in this "cheddarly" area is not needed. The cheese has been sliced, and the results are in. It's time for the market to embrace this cheddarful insight and maybe even raise a toast... or better yet, a slice of cheese. Cheers to the power of dairy in the stock market!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Finance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Fromage and Financial Futures


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cheddar Economics: Uncovering the Quirky Link between American Cheese Consumption and Agilent Technologies' Stock Price with an abstract of In this paper, we delve into the delightfully bizarre world of cheddar economics, exploring the unexpected relationship between American cheese consumption and Agilent Technologies' stock price. Leveraging data from the USDA and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) spanning the years 2002 to 2021, our research team unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9193142, with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. The tantalizing findings not only raise eyebrows but also prompt us to ponder the existence of a "cheesy" financial market indicator. As we dissect the curious correlation, we offer a whimsical insight into the diverse factors that could potentially impact stock prices, including, but not limited to, the melting point of American cheese and the "grate" expectations of investors. Our study not only sheds light on the unexpected interplay between dairy products and financial markets but also adds a sprinkle of humor to the often serious world of economic research.

ChatGPT:

cheddar economics, American cheese consumption, Agilent Technologies stock price, correlation coefficient, USDA data, LSEG Analytics, stock price indicators, financial market indicators, American cheese melting point, dairy products impact on stock prices, economic research humor

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

American cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of American cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with American cheese consumption

Agilent Technologies' stock price (A)
Detailed data title: Opening price of Agilent Technologies (A) on the first trading day of the year
Source: LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv)
Additional Info: Via Microsoft Excel Stockhistory function

See what else correlates with Agilent Technologies' stock price (A)

Correlation r = 0.9193142 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8451385 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Agilent Technologies' stock price (A)) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., American cheese consumption) over the 20 years from 2002 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.02E-8. 0.0000000102423876477755350000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 1.02E-6% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 97,633,485 random variables You don't actually need 97 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.8, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
American cheese consumption (Pounds per person)12.831412.561912.861212.64913.065612.792913.130613.355313.304813.039213.256913.357313.665614.044414.362115.090115.402715.538915.516.1
Agilent Technologies' stock price (A) (Stock price)19.2112.2819.7116.2422.525.0226.2211.1622.4529.7225.6330.1640.8341.1841.0645.9367.4266.585.9118.94




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([12.8314,12.5619,12.8612,12.649,13.0656,12.7929,13.1306,13.3553,13.3048,13.0392,13.2569,13.3573,13.6656,14.0444,14.3621,15.0901,15.4027,15.5389,15.5,16.1,])
array_2 = np.array([19.21,12.28,19.71,16.24,22.5,25.02,26.22,11.16,22.45,29.72,25.63,30.16,40.83,41.18,41.06,45.93,67.42,66.5,85.9,118.94,])
array_1_name = "American cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Agilent Technologies' stock price (A)"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 2995 · Black Variable ID: 553 · Red Variable ID: 1813
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