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Spurious correlation #3,890 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Popularity of the first name Johnathon and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania.  The chart goes from 1985 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the popularity of the name Johnathon waned, so did the enthusiasm for car-related activities. This lack of interest in anything with wheels led to a statewide decrease in motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. It's as if the name Johnathon had been revving up a certain demographic to engage in automotive larceny, but now that influence has run out of gas.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an endearing illustration of a quaint Pennsylvania town playground bustling with joyous children, as a decreasing popularity chart with "Johnathon" written boldly at the top is displayed in the foreground. Meanwhile, a row of parked cars in the background exhibits a declining trend in theft incidents, with fewer mischievous "Johnathon" named youngsters eyeing them. The charming artwork should capture the innocence and whimsy of childhood, while subtly hinting at the narrative through clever visual cues. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cutsy art illustration a Polaroid photo a funny image you would see on reddit Vaporwave Cute 2D animation
ChatGPT: Cutesy art illustration

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania, in the following situation: Because as the popularity of the name Johnathon decreased, so did the number of wannabe getaway drivers named Johnathon, leading to a decrease in motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. It's simple, fewer Johns, fewer heists!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a small Pennsylvania town, a playground filled with children is seen, with "Johnathon" written on the top of a decreasing popularity chart. Meanwhile, a row of parked cars in the background shows a decline in theft incidents, with fewer "Johnathon" named youngsters eyeing them mischievously.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cutesy art illustration ] and depicting this scene: In a small Pennsylvania town, a playground filled with children is seen, with "Johnathon" written on the top of a decreasing popularity chart. Meanwhile, a row of parked cars in the background shows a decline in theft incidents, with fewer "Johnathon" named youngsters eyeing them mischievously. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an endearing illustration of a quaint Pennsylvania town playground bustling with joyous children, as a decreasing popularity chart with "Johnathon" written boldly at the top is displayed in the foreground. Meanwhile, a row of parked cars in the background exhibits a declining trend in theft incidents, with fewer mischievous "Johnathon" named youngsters eyeing them. The charming artwork should capture the innocence and whimsy of childhood, while subtly hinting at the narrative through clever visual cues.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Popularity of the first name Johnathon caused Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania to decrease.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Johnathon Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name Johnathon and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

Journal of Quirky Social Sciences

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from US Social Security Administration and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and p < 0.01 for 1985 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The dramaturgy of nomenclature is an endlessly fascinating field, one that has tickled the fancy of researchers the world over. In the realm of behavioral economics, phenomena such as the "name-letter effect" have long captivated scholars, but the intersection of nomenclature and criminology remains a less-explored domain. Drawing on this curiosity, our study sets out to unravel the enigmatic connection between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state of Pennsylvania.

While the mere suggestion of a link between a specific moniker and criminal activity may raise an eyebrow or two, it is important to approach this investigation with the utmost statistical rigor and academic caution. We are not, after all, in the business of jumping to conclusions faster than a car thief in a hot pursuit.

The state of Pennsylvania, with its diverse urban and rural landscapes, provides an ideal backdrop for our inquiry. As a microcosm of the United States, it offers a rich tapestry of sociodemographic variables against which to examine the purported relationship between a name and nefarious misappropriation of automobiles. Our study harnesses the power of data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning a substantial temporal range from 1985 to 2022. This robust dataset allows for a comprehensive exploration of trends, fluctuations, and potentially hidden patterns, akin to the meticulous inspection of tire tracks at a crime scene.

As we embark on this curious endeavor, it is important to bear in mind the principle of primum non nocere, or "first, do no harm," a sentiment that extends beyond the realm of medicine and into the sphere of scholarly inquiry. Our aim is not to cast aspersions upon those bearing the name "Johnathon" nor to suggest a deterministic link between nomenclature and criminal propensity. Rather, our scholarly sleuthing is driven by a genuine quest for understanding, propelled by the recognition that the web of human behavior and societal phenomena is woven with threads of complexity and intrigue.

The forthcoming analysis holds the potential to unveil an unexpected nexus between the popularity of a given name and the illicit subculture of vehicular misappropriation, illuminating the subtle and often perplexing interplay of factors that influence criminal behavior. With due perspicacity, let us venture forth into this odyssey of statistical inquiry, ready to embrace the unexpected and the anomalous with the same fervor that propels us to solve a particularly confounding puzzle.

In the hallowed words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." With this tenet firmly in mind, we delve into the empirical fabric of our investigation, mindful of the potential for surprising revelations and consequential implications that may emerge from this unlikely pairing of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The dramaturgy of nomenclature is an endlessly fascinating field, one that has tickled the fancy of researchers the world over. In the realm of behavioral economics, phenomena such as the "name-letter effect" have long captivated scholars, but the intersection of nomenclature and criminology remains a less-explored domain. Drawing on this curiosity, our study sets out to unravel the enigmatic connection between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state of Pennsylvania.
While the mere suggestion of a link between a specific moniker and criminal activity may raise an eyebrow or two, it is important to approach this investigation with the utmost statistical rigor and academic caution. We are not, after all, in the business of jumping to conclusions faster than a car thief in a hot pursuit.
The state of Pennsylvania, with its diverse urban and rural landscapes, provides an ideal backdrop for our inquiry. As a microcosm of the United States, it offers a rich tapestry of sociodemographic variables against which to examine the purported relationship between a name and nefarious misappropriation of automobiles. Our study harnesses the power of data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning a substantial temporal range from 1985 to 2022. This robust dataset allows for a comprehensive exploration of trends, fluctuations, and potentially hidden patterns, akin to the meticulous inspection of tire tracks at a crime scene.
As we embark on this curious endeavor, it is important to bear in mind the principle of primum non nocere, or "first, do no harm," a sentiment that extends beyond the realm of medicine and into the sphere of scholarly inquiry. Our aim is not to cast aspersions upon those bearing the name "Johnathon" nor to suggest a deterministic link between nomenclature and criminal propensity. Rather, our scholarly sleuthing is driven by a genuine quest for understanding, propelled by the recognition that the web of human behavior and societal phenomena is woven with threads of complexity and intrigue.
The forthcoming analysis holds the potential to unveil an unexpected nexus between the popularity of a given name and the illicit subculture of vehicular misappropriation, illuminating the subtle and often perplexing interplay of factors that influence criminal behavior. With due perspicacity, let us venture forth into this odyssey of statistical inquiry, ready to embrace the unexpected and the anomalous with the same fervor that propels us to solve a particularly confounding puzzle.
In the hallowed words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." With this tenet firmly in mind, we delve into the empirical fabric of our investigation, mindful of the potential for surprising revelations and consequential implications that may emerge from this unlikely pairing of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The literature on the correlation between personal names and societal phenomena is resplendent with intriguing findings and capricious curiosities. While the initial foray into the domain of nomenclature and criminality may seem far-fetched, the scholarly underpinnings of our investigation rest upon a solid foundation of perplexing correlations and unexpected associations. A compendium of studies by Smith et al. (2010), Doe et al. (2015), and Jones et al. (2017) provides a rigorous examination of the interplay between naming conventions and assorted social trends, laying a conceptual groundwork for our inquiry.

In "Book," the authors find that individual identities can shape social interactions in unforeseen ways, offering a glimpse into the nuanced tapestry of human behavior. Meanwhile, "The Name Connection" by Johnson (2012) delves into the potent psychological impact of nomenclature, elucidating the intricate web of meaning and symbolism woven into personal names. These theoretical underpinnings, combined with empirical investigations into the "name-letter effect," kindle a sense of scholarly intrigue that underscores the relevance of our endeavor.

Venturing further into the realm of literature, "Names and Numbers" by Adams (2016) provides a comprehensive exploration of statistical methodologies in the study of names, fostering a deeper understanding of the analytical tools and frameworks that underpin our own empirical inquiry. The interdisciplinary nature of this research endeavor is exemplified by the extensive engagement with diverse disciplines such as linguistics, sociology, and criminology, shedding light on the multifaceted dimensions of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and its potential ramifications for motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania.

Amidst the scholarly oeuvre lies a rich tapestry of puns and jocular observations that unravel the idiosyncrasies of naming conventions, evoking a sense of levity that contrasts with the gravitas of empirical inquiry. However, amidst the lighthearted banter, the underlying implications and tangible ramifications of our findings loom large, reminding us that even the most whimsical of correlations can herald substantive insights into the enigmatic labyrinth of human behavior.

Turning to the realm of fiction, works such as "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" by F. Scott Fitzgerald and "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Eco, while not directly related to our topic, serve as a reminder of the timeless allure of enigmatic names and the intrigue they evoke within literary realms. This allusion to fictional narratives serves as a whimsical interlude, beckoning us to contemplate the perennial fascination with names and their indelible imprint upon our collective consciousness.

As the authors immerse themselves in the peculiar landscape of nomenclature and its potential entanglement with criminal misdeeds, it is pertinent to acknowledge the whimsical allure of pop culture representations that intersect with our area of inquiry. Shows such as "The Mentalist" and "Sherlock" offer a dramatic portrayal of investigative prowess, albeit within the context of solving criminal mysteries of a more traditional nature. The juxtaposition of these televised depictions with the empirical fabric of our investigation serves as a lighthearted reminder of the multifaceted nature of scholarly inquiry, wherein the serious and the whimsical converge in an intricate tapestry of discourse and discovery.

In synthesizing the scholarly, fictional, and popular cultural strands that intertwine within the overarching narrative of this literature review, we are reminded of the capricious nature of human fascination and the compelling allure of unconventional correlations. With this whimsical medley of academic rigor and waggish repartee, we embark on a scholarly odyssey that promises to unravel the enigmatic connection between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State, inspired by the unyielding spirit of discovery and the perpetual quest for insight amidst the cloak-and-dagger artistry of empirical inquiry.

This whimsically culminating review of literature sets the stage for the forthcoming empirical analysis, underscoring the scholarly fervor that propels us onwards in our quest to decipher the anomalous correlation at the heart of our investigation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from US Social Security Administration and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1985 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The dramaturgy of nomenclature is an endlessly fascinating field, one that has tickled the fancy of researchers the world over. In the realm of behavioral economics, phenomena such as the "name-letter effect" have long captivated scholars, but the intersection of nomenclature and criminology remains a less-explored domain. Drawing on this curiosity, our study sets out to unravel the enigmatic connection between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state of Pennsylvania.
While the mere suggestion of a link between a specific moniker and criminal activity may raise an eyebrow or two, it is important to approach this investigation with the utmost statistical rigor and academic caution. We are not, after all, in the business of jumping to conclusions faster than a car thief in a hot pursuit.
The state of Pennsylvania, with its diverse urban and rural landscapes, provides an ideal backdrop for our inquiry. As a microcosm of the United States, it offers a rich tapestry of sociodemographic variables against which to examine the purported relationship between a name and nefarious misappropriation of automobiles. Our study harnesses the power of data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning a substantial temporal range from 1985 to 2022. This robust dataset allows for a comprehensive exploration of trends, fluctuations, and potentially hidden patterns, akin to the meticulous inspection of tire tracks at a crime scene.
As we embark on this curious endeavor, it is important to bear in mind the principle of primum non nocere, or "first, do no harm," a sentiment that extends beyond the realm of medicine and into the sphere of scholarly inquiry. Our aim is not to cast aspersions upon those bearing the name "Johnathon" nor to suggest a deterministic link between nomenclature and criminal propensity. Rather, our scholarly sleuthing is driven by a genuine quest for understanding, propelled by the recognition that the web of human behavior and societal phenomena is woven with threads of complexity and intrigue.
The forthcoming analysis holds the potential to unveil an unexpected nexus between the popularity of a given name and the illicit subculture of vehicular misappropriation, illuminating the subtle and often perplexing interplay of factors that influence criminal behavior. With due perspicacity, let us venture forth into this odyssey of statistical inquiry, ready to embrace the unexpected and the anomalous with the same fervor that propels us to solve a particularly confounding puzzle.
In the hallowed words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." With this tenet firmly in mind, we delve into the empirical fabric of our investigation, mindful of the potential for surprising revelations and consequential implications that may emerge from this unlikely pairing of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To commence our investigation into the peculiar correlation between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania, we employed an elaborate and nuanced methodological approach. Our research team utilized a combination of data extraction, cleaning, and statistical analysis akin to the meticulous craftsmanship of a watchmaker endeavoring to unravel the enigma of time.

Data Procurement and Preprocessing:
The first step in our endeavor involved procuring data on the popularity of the name "Johnathon" from the US Social Security Administration's database of first names bestowed upon newborns. Leveraging this publicly available repository, we meticulously compiled yearly counts of individuals christened with the name "Johnathon" from 1985 to 2022, aiming to capture the ebb and flow of nomenclatural preferences akin to navigating the currents of linguistic fashion. Furthermore, to ascertain the prevalence of motor vehicle thefts across Pennsylvania, we turned to the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, extracting annual statistics on the incidence of this criminal transgression within the Commonwealth. Our team exercised the utmost caution in handling this data, treating it with a level of care akin to the delicate handling of stolen goods by a forensic investigator.

Statistical Analysis:
To interrogate the possible relationship between the popularity of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts, we subjected the acquired datasets to a series of rigorous statistical analyses. First, we employed Pearson's correlation coefficient to quantify the strength and direction of the linear relationship between these two seemingly disparate variables. Our intention was to uncover any semblance of association, much like a detective striving to connect seemingly unrelated clues in a criminal case. Subsequently, we conducted a multiple linear regression analysis, seeking to disentangle the intricate web of causality between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts. This analytical endeavor resembled the unraveling of a complex and convoluted plot worthy of a mystery novel, albeit with the tools of mathematical inquiry at our disposal. Notably, we accounted for potential confounding variables such as socioeconomic indicators and regional demographic characteristics to ensure the robustness of our findings, much like a detective cross-referencing alibis and witness statements to corroborate a suspect's testimony.

Temporal Trends and Sensitivity Analyses:
In addition to the primary analyses, our methodological arsenal encompassed a thorough examination of temporal trends and the execution of sensitivity analyses to gauge the stability of our observed associations. We meticulously dissected the time-series dynamics of both the prevalence of the name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts, akin to a forensic pathologist meticulously scrutinizing the progression of postmortem changes. Further, sensitivity analyses scrutinized the resilience of our findings to variations in the inclusion of covariates and the temporal scope of the data, akin to stress-testing the resilience of an intricate criminal scheme to unanticipated disruptions.

Ethical Considerations and Limitations:
In our quest for academic inquiry, it is paramount to acknowledge the ethical dimensions and the potential limitations inherent in our study. While our analysis provides compelling insights into the curious linkage between the popularity of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania, it is crucial to exercise caution in inferring causality or overstating the implications of our findings, much as a criminal investigator carefully weighs circumstantial evidence without leaping to premature conclusions. Moreover, the limitations of using aggregate data preclude the examination of individual-level associations and necessitate prudence in generalizing the findings to specific individuals bearing the name "Johnathon." Our research team remained acutely aware of these constraints, aligning our approach with the principles of sound scientific inquiry and academic integrity.

In summary, our methodology amalgamated the precision of statistical analysis with an appreciation for the intricacies of human behavior and demographic phenomena, mirroring the collaborative efforts of investigative units endeavoring to unravel the mechanisms underpinning enigmatic criminal phenomena. The ensuing results of our empirical adventure are detailed in the succeeding section, where we confront the unexpected revelations engendered by our scholarly sleuthing.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from US Social Security Administration and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1985 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9812207, r-squared of 0.9627941, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The dramaturgy of nomenclature is an endlessly fascinating field, one that has tickled the fancy of researchers the world over. In the realm of behavioral economics, phenomena such as the "name-letter effect" have long captivated scholars, but the intersection of nomenclature and criminology remains a less-explored domain. Drawing on this curiosity, our study sets out to unravel the enigmatic connection between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state of Pennsylvania.
While the mere suggestion of a link between a specific moniker and criminal activity may raise an eyebrow or two, it is important to approach this investigation with the utmost statistical rigor and academic caution. We are not, after all, in the business of jumping to conclusions faster than a car thief in a hot pursuit.
The state of Pennsylvania, with its diverse urban and rural landscapes, provides an ideal backdrop for our inquiry. As a microcosm of the United States, it offers a rich tapestry of sociodemographic variables against which to examine the purported relationship between a name and nefarious misappropriation of automobiles. Our study harnesses the power of data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning a substantial temporal range from 1985 to 2022. This robust dataset allows for a comprehensive exploration of trends, fluctuations, and potentially hidden patterns, akin to the meticulous inspection of tire tracks at a crime scene.
As we embark on this curious endeavor, it is important to bear in mind the principle of primum non nocere, or "first, do no harm," a sentiment that extends beyond the realm of medicine and into the sphere of scholarly inquiry. Our aim is not to cast aspersions upon those bearing the name "Johnathon" nor to suggest a deterministic link between nomenclature and criminal propensity. Rather, our scholarly sleuthing is driven by a genuine quest for understanding, propelled by the recognition that the web of human behavior and societal phenomena is woven with threads of complexity and intrigue.
The forthcoming analysis holds the potential to unveil an unexpected nexus between the popularity of a given name and the illicit subculture of vehicular misappropriation, illuminating the subtle and often perplexing interplay of factors that influence criminal behavior. With due perspicacity, let us venture forth into this odyssey of statistical inquiry, ready to embrace the unexpected and the anomalous with the same fervor that propels us to solve a particularly confounding puzzle.
In the hallowed words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." With this tenet firmly in mind, we delve into the empirical fabric of our investigation, mindful of the potential for surprising revelations and consequential implications that may emerge from this unlikely pairing of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The data analysis has unveiled a notable correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The calculated correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 indicates a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests a connection as robust as the bonds securing a car to its parking spot. The r-squared value of 0.9627941 further underscores the potency of this association, revealing that a substantial proportion of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in the frequency of the name "Johnathon." It appears that this correlation is as clear as a well-illuminated license plate on a dark night.

The statistical significance of the relationship is buttressed by a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling that the observed correlation is highly unlikely to have occurred by random chance alone. This outcome is as striking as stumbling upon a car alarm amidst the tranquility of a deserted parking lot. In simpler terms, the likelihood of such a strong association arising purely by accident is as slim as the chances of finding a parking ticket on your windshield when you've parked in a restricted zone.

The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually encapsulates the essence of this correlation, mapping the trajectory of the name "Johnathon" alongside the frequency of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The alignment of data points on the plot mirrors the harmonious coordination seen in a perfectly executed heist, highlighting the congruence between the ebb and flow of the name "Johnathon" and the incidence of vehicular thievery. It appears that these variables are entwined in a dance as lively as a high-speed pursuit, showcasing a coherence that defies conventional expectations.

The implications of this unexpected correlation are as intriguing as the plot of a mystery novel, enticing further exploration into the underlying mechanisms that may drive such an association. The convergence of nomenclature and criminology in this context presents an enigma as captivating as an unsolved case, inviting scholars to delve into the complex interplay between societal constructs and criminal phenomena. This study stands as a testament to the unexpected marvels that can emerge from the corridors of empirical inquiry, beckoning researchers to embrace the serendipitous revelations that await in the unlikeliest of pairings.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The literature on the correlation between personal names and societal phenomena is resplendent with intriguing findings and capricious curiosities. While the initial foray into the domain of nomenclature and criminality may seem far-fetched, the scholarly underpinnings of our investigation rest upon a solid foundation of perplexing correlations and unexpected associations. A compendium of studies by Smith et al. (2010), Doe et al. (2015), and Jones et al. (2017) provides a rigorous examination of the interplay between naming conventions and assorted social trends, laying a conceptual groundwork for our inquiry.
In "Book," the authors find that individual identities can shape social interactions in unforeseen ways, offering a glimpse into the nuanced tapestry of human behavior. Meanwhile, "The Name Connection" by Johnson (2012) delves into the potent psychological impact of nomenclature, elucidating the intricate web of meaning and symbolism woven into personal names. These theoretical underpinnings, combined with empirical investigations into the "name-letter effect," kindle a sense of scholarly intrigue that underscores the relevance of our endeavor.
Venturing further into the realm of literature, "Names and Numbers" by Adams (2016) provides a comprehensive exploration of statistical methodologies in the study of names, fostering a deeper understanding of the analytical tools and frameworks that underpin our own empirical inquiry. The interdisciplinary nature of this research endeavor is exemplified by the extensive engagement with diverse disciplines such as linguistics, sociology, and criminology, shedding light on the multifaceted dimensions of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and its potential ramifications for motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania.
Amidst the scholarly oeuvre lies a rich tapestry of puns and jocular observations that unravel the idiosyncrasies of naming conventions, evoking a sense of levity that contrasts with the gravitas of empirical inquiry. However, amidst the lighthearted banter, the underlying implications and tangible ramifications of our findings loom large, reminding us that even the most whimsical of correlations can herald substantive insights into the enigmatic labyrinth of human behavior.
Turning to the realm of fiction, works such as "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" by F. Scott Fitzgerald and "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Eco, while not directly related to our topic, serve as a reminder of the timeless allure of enigmatic names and the intrigue they evoke within literary realms. This allusion to fictional narratives serves as a whimsical interlude, beckoning us to contemplate the perennial fascination with names and their indelible imprint upon our collective consciousness.
As the authors immerse themselves in the peculiar landscape of nomenclature and its potential entanglement with criminal misdeeds, it is pertinent to acknowledge the whimsical allure of pop culture representations that intersect with our area of inquiry. Shows such as "The Mentalist" and "Sherlock" offer a dramatic portrayal of investigative prowess, albeit within the context of solving criminal mysteries of a more traditional nature. The juxtaposition of these televised depictions with the empirical fabric of our investigation serves as a lighthearted reminder of the multifaceted nature of scholarly inquiry, wherein the serious and the whimsical converge in an intricate tapestry of discourse and discovery.
In synthesizing the scholarly, fictional, and popular cultural strands that intertwine within the overarching narrative of this literature review, we are reminded of the capricious nature of human fascination and the compelling allure of unconventional correlations. With this whimsical medley of academic rigor and waggish repartee, we embark on a scholarly odyssey that promises to unravel the enigmatic connection between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State, inspired by the unyielding spirit of discovery and the perpetual quest for insight amidst the cloak-and-dagger artistry of empirical inquiry.
This whimsically culminating review of literature sets the stage for the forthcoming empirical analysis, underscoring the scholarly fervor that propels us onwards in our quest to decipher the anomalous correlation at the heart of our investigation.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis has unveiled a notable correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The calculated correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 indicates a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests a connection as robust as the bonds securing a car to its parking spot. The r-squared value of 0.9627941 further underscores the potency of this association, revealing that a substantial proportion of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in the frequency of the name "Johnathon." It appears that this correlation is as clear as a well-illuminated license plate on a dark night.
The statistical significance of the relationship is buttressed by a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling that the observed correlation is highly unlikely to have occurred by random chance alone. This outcome is as striking as stumbling upon a car alarm amidst the tranquility of a deserted parking lot. In simpler terms, the likelihood of such a strong association arising purely by accident is as slim as the chances of finding a parking ticket on your windshield when you've parked in a restricted zone.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually encapsulates the essence of this correlation, mapping the trajectory of the name "Johnathon" alongside the frequency of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The alignment of data points on the plot mirrors the harmonious coordination seen in a perfectly executed heist, highlighting the congruence between the ebb and flow of the name "Johnathon" and the incidence of vehicular thievery. It appears that these variables are entwined in a dance as lively as a high-speed pursuit, showcasing a coherence that defies conventional expectations.
The implications of this unexpected correlation are as intriguing as the plot of a mystery novel, enticing further exploration into the underlying mechanisms that may drive such an association. The convergence of nomenclature and criminology in this context presents an enigma as captivating as an unsolved case, inviting scholars to delve into the complex interplay between societal constructs and criminal phenomena. This study stands as a testament to the unexpected marvels that can emerge from the corridors of empirical inquiry, beckoning researchers to embrace the serendipitous revelations that await in the unlikeliest of pairings.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The empirical investigation into the correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania has yielded prodigious insights that transcend conventional expectations. Our findings align closely with the prior research that has sown the seeds of scholarly intrigue in the realm of nomenclature and its potential entanglement with criminal misdeeds. The literature, laden with whimsical observations and capricious curiosities, has laid the groundwork for our earnest inquiry, underscoring the gravity of incongruous correlations that may, deceptively, harbor substantive insights.

Our study's striking correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 stand as solid buttresses to the findings, reminiscent of the reassuring security of an activated car alarm in a deserted parking lot. These results unequivocally support the unanticipated relationship between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts, much like uncovering an unexpected parking ticket on a windshield.

The statistically significant nature of this association is as unassuming as a car parked in a restricted zone. The scatterplot visually encapsulates the harmonious coordination between these variables, akin to the flawless execution of a heist. It is clear that these findings signify an intriguing convergence of nomenclature and societal phenomena, akin to the allure of an unsolved case in a mystery novel. The observable coherence between the ebb and flow of the name "Johnathon" and the incidence of vehicular thievery is as intriguing as the plot of a classic detective story, inviting further exploration into the bewildering enigma that resides within the correlative relationship.

In conclusion, this study illuminates the fortuitous marvels that can emerge from the realm of empirical inquiry, urging scholars to embrace the potential serendipitous revelations that may await in the most unexpected pairings. This inquisitive journey, enriched by the amalgamation of scholarly rigor and whimsical repartee, embodies the indomitable spirit of empirical inquiry and beckons us to revel in the unexpected junctures of academic pursuit.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Popularity of the first name Johnathon and Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The "Johnathon" Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name "Johnathon" and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The dramaturgy of nomenclature is an endlessly fascinating field, one that has tickled the fancy of researchers the world over. In the realm of behavioral economics, phenomena such as the "name-letter effect" have long captivated scholars, but the intersection of nomenclature and criminology remains a less-explored domain. Drawing on this curiosity, our study sets out to unravel the enigmatic connection between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state of Pennsylvania.
While the mere suggestion of a link between a specific moniker and criminal activity may raise an eyebrow or two, it is important to approach this investigation with the utmost statistical rigor and academic caution. We are not, after all, in the business of jumping to conclusions faster than a car thief in a hot pursuit.
The state of Pennsylvania, with its diverse urban and rural landscapes, provides an ideal backdrop for our inquiry. As a microcosm of the United States, it offers a rich tapestry of sociodemographic variables against which to examine the purported relationship between a name and nefarious misappropriation of automobiles. Our study harnesses the power of data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning a substantial temporal range from 1985 to 2022. This robust dataset allows for a comprehensive exploration of trends, fluctuations, and potentially hidden patterns, akin to the meticulous inspection of tire tracks at a crime scene.
As we embark on this curious endeavor, it is important to bear in mind the principle of primum non nocere, or "first, do no harm," a sentiment that extends beyond the realm of medicine and into the sphere of scholarly inquiry. Our aim is not to cast aspersions upon those bearing the name "Johnathon" nor to suggest a deterministic link between nomenclature and criminal propensity. Rather, our scholarly sleuthing is driven by a genuine quest for understanding, propelled by the recognition that the web of human behavior and societal phenomena is woven with threads of complexity and intrigue.
The forthcoming analysis holds the potential to unveil an unexpected nexus between the popularity of a given name and the illicit subculture of vehicular misappropriation, illuminating the subtle and often perplexing interplay of factors that influence criminal behavior. With due perspicacity, let us venture forth into this odyssey of statistical inquiry, ready to embrace the unexpected and the anomalous with the same fervor that propels us to solve a particularly confounding puzzle.
In the hallowed words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." With this tenet firmly in mind, we delve into the empirical fabric of our investigation, mindful of the potential for surprising revelations and consequential implications that may emerge from this unlikely pairing of the "Johnathon" phenomenon and motor vehicle thefts in the Keystone State.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis has unveiled a notable correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The calculated correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 indicates a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests a connection as robust as the bonds securing a car to its parking spot. The r-squared value of 0.9627941 further underscores the potency of this association, revealing that a substantial proportion of the variance in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in the frequency of the name "Johnathon." It appears that this correlation is as clear as a well-illuminated license plate on a dark night.
The statistical significance of the relationship is buttressed by a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling that the observed correlation is highly unlikely to have occurred by random chance alone. This outcome is as striking as stumbling upon a car alarm amidst the tranquility of a deserted parking lot. In simpler terms, the likelihood of such a strong association arising purely by accident is as slim as the chances of finding a parking ticket on your windshield when you've parked in a restricted zone.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually encapsulates the essence of this correlation, mapping the trajectory of the name "Johnathon" alongside the frequency of motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania. The alignment of data points on the plot mirrors the harmonious coordination seen in a perfectly executed heist, highlighting the congruence between the ebb and flow of the name "Johnathon" and the incidence of vehicular thievery. It appears that these variables are entwined in a dance as lively as a high-speed pursuit, showcasing a coherence that defies conventional expectations.
The implications of this unexpected correlation are as intriguing as the plot of a mystery novel, enticing further exploration into the underlying mechanisms that may drive such an association. The convergence of nomenclature and criminology in this context presents an enigma as captivating as an unsolved case, inviting scholars to delve into the complex interplay between societal constructs and criminal phenomena. This study stands as a testament to the unexpected marvels that can emerge from the corridors of empirical inquiry, beckoning researchers to embrace the serendipitous revelations that await in the unlikeliest of pairings.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation into the correlation between the frequency of the first name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania has yielded compelling results. The remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 provide robust evidence of a noteworthy association. This finding suggests a connection as persistent as a car alarm in a crowded parking lot, adding a new dimension to the intricate tapestry of societal phenomena.

It is striking to observe such a strong statistical link between a seemingly innocuous name and criminal behavior. The implications of this discovery are as surprising as finding a pristine convertible in a chop shop – it raises questions about the underlying mechanisms and societal influences at play. This unexpected confluence of nomenclature and criminology underscores the enchanting complexity of human behavior, akin to stumbling upon a hidden compartment in a stolen vehicle.

While this correlation merits further contemplation and theoretical exploration, it is evident that our study has opened a new avenue for scholarly inquiry. However, it is reasonable to assert that no further research is necessary in this area. The profound significance and quirky allure of this discovery serve as a testament to the whimsical nature of empirical inquiry, affirming that even the most curious of relationships merit scholarly attention.

In the immortal words of John Wayne, "Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." And so our study, seeking to unravel the mysteries of nomenclature and criminality, has demonstrated that sometimes, the most bizarre correlations can withstand rigorous scrutiny. The unexpected connection between the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts serves as a reminder that in the realm of statistical inquiry, as in life, there is always room for delightful surprises.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Johnathon Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name Johnathon and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Quirky Social Sciences


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Johnathon Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name Johnathon and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Quirky Sociological Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Johnathon Job: An Examination of the Correlation between Popularity of the First Name Johnathon and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Pennsylvania with an abstract of This study delves into the curious correlation between the popularity of the first name "Johnathon" and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in the state of Pennsylvania. Leveraging data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from the years 1985 to 2022, we sought to empirically investigate this overlooked relationship. Our analysis reveals a strikingly high correlation coefficient of 0.9812207 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, showcasing the strength of the association between the frequency of the name "Johnathon" and motor vehicle thefts. The implications of this noteworthy finding are discussed in light of the broader societal and criminological contexts. This research subtly highlights the unexpected connections that can emerge in the world of empirical inquiry, reminding us that even the most peculiar of correlations warrant serious contemplation.

ChatGPT:

Johnathon, first name popularity, motor vehicle thefts, Pennsylvania, correlation study, US Social Security Administration, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, name frequency, criminological implications

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Popularity of the first name Johnathon
Detailed data title: Babies of all sexes born in the US named Johnathon
Source: US Social Security Administration
See what else correlates with Popularity of the first name Johnathon

Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Pennsylvania
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania

Correlation r = 0.9812207 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9627941 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 96.3% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Popularity of the first name Johnathon) over the 38 years from 1985 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.5E-27. 0.0000000000000000000000000025
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.98 in 2.5E-25% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 399,999,999,999,999,950,339,440,640 random variables You don't actually need 399 septillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 37 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 37 because we have two variables measured over a period of 38 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.96, 0.99 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19851986198719881989199019911992199319941995199619971998199920002001200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Popularity of the first name Johnathon (Babies born)7627337938919901090106810239679488598717417837296966166095334864574674253713952822652652492341711431311431221269290
Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)328.2354.4349.2426.8469.4505.5481.5467.7440.2449.3412.7404.2367.8355.5327.1295.8290.3266.2270.3249.9236.9238.8213.2180.7141.4131.5132.4118.4107.710294.8102.2101.3102.697121132.9163




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([762,733,793,891,990,1090,1068,1023,967,948,859,871,741,783,729,696,616,609,533,486,457,467,425,371,395,282,265,265,249,234,171,143,131,143,122,126,92,90,])
array_2 = np.array([328.2,354.4,349.2,426.8,469.4,505.5,481.5,467.7,440.2,449.3,412.7,404.2,367.8,355.5,327.1,295.8,290.3,266.2,270.3,249.9,236.9,238.8,213.2,180.7,141.4,131.5,132.4,118.4,107.7,102,94.8,102.2,101.3,102.6,97,121,132.9,163,])
array_1_name = "Popularity of the first name Johnathon"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Pennsylvania"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 3890 · Black Variable ID: 2601 · Red Variable ID: 20158
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