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Spurious correlation #2,130 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Number of public school students in Kindergarten and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with Apple.  The chart goes from 1994 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the number of public school students in Kindergarten grows, so does their love for learning. This enthusiasm for education somehow apples to their overall outlook, leading to a higher satisfaction with Apple products. It seems that the more kindergarteners, the core delighted customers!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create a minimalist image of a colorful classroom with a group of smiling kindergartners seated at small desks, eagerly raising their hands. The teacher holds up a bright red Apple, while the children's faces light up with excitement as they reach out to touch it. On the teacher's desk, there's a survey showing high ratings for customer satisfaction with Apple products. The scene should convey the joy of learning and the positive impact of technology in education. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: a Polaroid photo Scalar art Psychedelic Low poly Minimalism
ChatGPT: Minimalism

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a colorful classroom, a group of smiling kindergartners sits at small desks, eagerly raising their hands to answer questions. Their teacher holds up a bright red Apple, and the children's faces light up with excitement as they eagerly reach out to touch it. Meanwhile, a survey sits on the teacher's desk, showing high ratings for customer satisfaction with Apple products.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Minimalism ] and depicting this scene: In a colorful classroom, a group of smiling kindergartners sits at small desks, eagerly raising their hands to answer questions. Their teacher holds up a bright red Apple, and the children's faces light up with excitement as they eagerly reach out to touch it. Meanwhile, a survey sits on the teacher's desk, showing high ratings for customer satisfaction with Apple products. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create a minimalist image of a colorful classroom with a group of smiling kindergartners seated at small desks, eagerly raising their hands. The teacher holds up a bright red Apple, while the children's faces light up with excitement as they reach out to touch it. On the teacher's desk, there's a survey showing high ratings for customer satisfaction with Apple products. The scene should convey the joy of learning and the positive impact of technology in education.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in Number of public school students in Kindergarten caused Customer satisfaction with Apple to increase. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

The Journal of Quirky Correlations

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, just make it sound clever.

Your research team used data from National Center for Education Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and p < 0.01 for 1994 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The confluence of seemingly disparate realms such as education and consumer satisfaction has long been a subject of intrigue, amusement, and bewilderment. At first glance, one might ponder the likelihood of any discernible relationship between the burgeoning cohort of young scholars entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten and the discerning connoisseurs of Apple products. However, as the aphorism goes, "truth is stranger than fiction," and indeed, the enigmatic world of correlations has a penchant for confounding our preconceived notions.

The ubiquity of Apple's technological marvels in the modern age is indisputable, with swathes of individuals wielding their iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks like their dearest companions. Meanwhile, the influx of pint-sized prodigies brimming with insatiable curiosity and unbridled energy into the educational milieu is a sight to behold. One might be forgiven for assuming that the trajectories of these two domains were as orthogonal as can be. Yet, as we shall now demonstrate, the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis have unveiled a surprising connection between these seemingly unrelated facets of life.

As scholars, practitioners, and purveyors of knowledge, it is incumbent upon us to venture into uncharted terrain and scrutinize the quirks and caprices of our data. The present study aims to do just that, by delving into the heretofore unexplored relationship between the number of public school students enrolled in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple aficionados. Our investigation has leveraged a robust and extensive dataset spanning a considerable timeframe, affording us the opportunity to tease out patterns that might otherwise have eluded the naked eye.

This peculiar conundrum is not merely an exercise in statistical amusement, but rather an invitation to unravel the intangible threads that weave together the fabric of our societal tapestry. Join us as we embark on a journey to peel away the layers of complexity and uncover the unexpected ties that bind, in what can only be described as a symphony of statistical serendipity.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The confluence of seemingly disparate realms such as education and consumer satisfaction has long been a subject of intrigue, amusement, and bewilderment. At first glance, one might ponder the likelihood of any discernible relationship between the burgeoning cohort of young scholars entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten and the discerning connoisseurs of Apple products. However, as the aphorism goes, "truth is stranger than fiction," and indeed, the enigmatic world of correlations has a penchant for confounding our preconceived notions.
The ubiquity of Apple's technological marvels in the modern age is indisputable, with swathes of individuals wielding their iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks like their dearest companions. Meanwhile, the influx of pint-sized prodigies brimming with insatiable curiosity and unbridled energy into the educational milieu is a sight to behold. One might be forgiven for assuming that the trajectories of these two domains were as orthogonal as can be. Yet, as we shall now demonstrate, the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis have unveiled a surprising connection between these seemingly unrelated facets of life.
As scholars, practitioners, and purveyors of knowledge, it is incumbent upon us to venture into uncharted terrain and scrutinize the quirks and caprices of our data. The present study aims to do just that, by delving into the heretofore unexplored relationship between the number of public school students enrolled in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple aficionados. Our investigation has leveraged a robust and extensive dataset spanning a considerable timeframe, affording us the opportunity to tease out patterns that might otherwise have eluded the naked eye.
This peculiar conundrum is not merely an exercise in statistical amusement, but rather an invitation to unravel the intangible threads that weave together the fabric of our societal tapestry. Join us as we embark on a journey to peel away the layers of complexity and uncover the unexpected ties that bind, in what can only be described as a symphony of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The enthralling nexus between the enrollment of eager young minds in kindergarten and the allure of Apple's technological marvels has captured the imagination of both scholars and laypersons alike. As we endeavor to navigate this uncharted terrain, it is prudent to heed the insights gleaned from prior studies shedding light on this intriguing correlation.

Smith et al. conducted a seminal investigation into consumer behavior and product satisfaction, asserting that individual preferences are often influenced by subtle, seemingly unrelated factors. This assertion underscores the notion that the proliferation of kindergarten students may exert an unforeseen sway on the discernment of Apple enthusiasts, prompting us to embark on a journey of inquiry that transcends the conventional boundaries of market research.

Doe and Jones, in their comprehensive review of educational demographics, posited that the societal landscape undergoes subtle shifts with the ebb and flow of student enrollment patterns. While their focus was primarily on educational policy, the implications of these demographic fluctuations extend to hitherto unexplored domains, beckoning us to contemplate the whimsical interplay between scholastic trends and consumer proclivities.

Turning to the literary realm for deeper insights, "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell offers a compelling exploration of the intricate mechanisms underpinning societal phenomena. Within the pages of this captivating work, Gladwell posits that seemingly innocuous events can catalyze momentous shifts, inviting us to ponder the unforeseen confluence of kindergarten enrollment and Apple aficionados' satisfaction as a potential inflection point in consumer behavior.

In a departure from non-fiction literature, the whimsical, yet thought-provoking narrative of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll beckons us to embrace the surreal and the unexpected. Much like Alice's unanticipated foray into an alternate reality, our findings venture into a realm where kindergarten enrollment and consumer satisfaction intersect, impelling us to contemplate the delightfully unpredictable nature of statistical correlations.

Drawing inspiration from unlikely sources, the board game "Snakes and Ladders" serves as a metaphor for the serpentine path of statistical inquiry. As we ascend the ladder of knowledge and grapple with the pitfalls of data analysis, our quest for understanding unveils a wondrous world of interconnectedness, replete with unexpected twists and turns.

While the path to unraveling this peculiar correlation may appear labyrinthine, our journey is underpinned by an ardent pursuit of empirical truth and a penchant for embracing the delightful absurdities that delineate the boundaries of statistical inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from National Center for Education Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 1994 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The confluence of seemingly disparate realms such as education and consumer satisfaction has long been a subject of intrigue, amusement, and bewilderment. At first glance, one might ponder the likelihood of any discernible relationship between the burgeoning cohort of young scholars entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten and the discerning connoisseurs of Apple products. However, as the aphorism goes, "truth is stranger than fiction," and indeed, the enigmatic world of correlations has a penchant for confounding our preconceived notions.
The ubiquity of Apple's technological marvels in the modern age is indisputable, with swathes of individuals wielding their iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks like their dearest companions. Meanwhile, the influx of pint-sized prodigies brimming with insatiable curiosity and unbridled energy into the educational milieu is a sight to behold. One might be forgiven for assuming that the trajectories of these two domains were as orthogonal as can be. Yet, as we shall now demonstrate, the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis have unveiled a surprising connection between these seemingly unrelated facets of life.
As scholars, practitioners, and purveyors of knowledge, it is incumbent upon us to venture into uncharted terrain and scrutinize the quirks and caprices of our data. The present study aims to do just that, by delving into the heretofore unexplored relationship between the number of public school students enrolled in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple aficionados. Our investigation has leveraged a robust and extensive dataset spanning a considerable timeframe, affording us the opportunity to tease out patterns that might otherwise have eluded the naked eye.
This peculiar conundrum is not merely an exercise in statistical amusement, but rather an invitation to unravel the intangible threads that weave together the fabric of our societal tapestry. Join us as we embark on a journey to peel away the layers of complexity and uncover the unexpected ties that bind, in what can only be described as a symphony of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:


[[METHODOLOGY]]

To disentangle the enigmatic relationship between the proliferation of eager young minds in kindergarten classrooms and the discerning preferences of Apple enthusiasts, a comprehensive methodology was crafted to navigate the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis. The data for this study was sourced from the National Center for Education Statistics, capturing the kaleidoscopic panorama of kindergarten enrollment figures, and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, providing a glimpse into the preferences and evaluative sentiments of consumers captivated by the allure of Apple's technological offerings. The period under scrutiny spanned the epoch from 1994 to 2021, encapsulating a rich tapestry of temporal nuances that further enriched the analytical corpus.

The gathering of pertinent data involved a riveting expedition across the digital expanse, perusing archives, surveys, and databases with the steadfast tenacity of an intrepid explorer in search of a rare treasure. The trove of information thus assembled underwent a meticulous curation process to weed out any anomalies or extraneous flotsam, ensuring that the integrity of the dataset remained unassailable against the tempestuous seas of spuriousness.

Employing the venerable tools of statistical analysis, such as correlation coefficients and p-values, our intrepid research team charted a course through the tumultuous seas of numerical inquiry. The flourishing cohort of kindergarten enrollments and the undulating tides of Apple customer satisfaction were subjected to the rigors of mathematical scrutiny, their nautical paths intertwining in a mesmerizing dance of data points and regression lines.

The use of a robust analytical framework allowed for the noble task of teasing out patterns, connections, and deviations that might otherwise have remained concealed within the labyrinth of numerical obscurity. Through the judicious application of inferential statistics, our aim was to lend clarity to the esoteric tapestry of association between these seemingly incongruous domains, illuminating the cryptic recesses of correlation with the bright lamp of numerical enlightenment.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from National Center for Education Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index .

For the time period 1994 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8197433, r-squared of 0.6719791, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The confluence of seemingly disparate realms such as education and consumer satisfaction has long been a subject of intrigue, amusement, and bewilderment. At first glance, one might ponder the likelihood of any discernible relationship between the burgeoning cohort of young scholars entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten and the discerning connoisseurs of Apple products. However, as the aphorism goes, "truth is stranger than fiction," and indeed, the enigmatic world of correlations has a penchant for confounding our preconceived notions.
The ubiquity of Apple's technological marvels in the modern age is indisputable, with swathes of individuals wielding their iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks like their dearest companions. Meanwhile, the influx of pint-sized prodigies brimming with insatiable curiosity and unbridled energy into the educational milieu is a sight to behold. One might be forgiven for assuming that the trajectories of these two domains were as orthogonal as can be. Yet, as we shall now demonstrate, the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis have unveiled a surprising connection between these seemingly unrelated facets of life.
As scholars, practitioners, and purveyors of knowledge, it is incumbent upon us to venture into uncharted terrain and scrutinize the quirks and caprices of our data. The present study aims to do just that, by delving into the heretofore unexplored relationship between the number of public school students enrolled in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple aficionados. Our investigation has leveraged a robust and extensive dataset spanning a considerable timeframe, affording us the opportunity to tease out patterns that might otherwise have eluded the naked eye.
This peculiar conundrum is not merely an exercise in statistical amusement, but rather an invitation to unravel the intangible threads that weave together the fabric of our societal tapestry. Join us as we embark on a journey to peel away the layers of complexity and uncover the unexpected ties that bind, in what can only be described as a symphony of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Having meticulously combed through the vast expanse of data, our analysis unearthed a striking correlation between the number of public school students in kindergarten and customer satisfaction with Apple products. The correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 indicates a strong positive relationship between these two ostensibly distinct realms, with the r-squared value of 0.6719791 signifying that over 67% of the variability in Apple customer satisfaction can be explained by the variance in kindergarten enrollments. Furthermore, our findings were bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, intimating a statistically significant association.

This unexpected finding prompts us to contemplate the myriad ways in which these seemingly unrelated domains may intersect. Fig. 1 illustrates the compelling relationship between kindergarten enrollment and Apple customer satisfaction, with a scatterplot vividly portraying the robust correlation that has perplexed and delighted us in equal measure.

The implications of this noteworthy discovery are manifold, as it challenges conventional wisdom and beckons us to consider the whimsical interconnectedness of spheres that, at first glance, appear to be light-years apart. This revelatory association not only expands the horizons of statistical understanding but also serves as a gentle nudge to reevaluate our perception of the intricate tapestry of human experiences.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The enthralling nexus between the enrollment of eager young minds in kindergarten and the allure of Apple's technological marvels has captured the imagination of both scholars and laypersons alike. As we endeavor to navigate this uncharted terrain, it is prudent to heed the insights gleaned from prior studies shedding light on this intriguing correlation.
Smith et al. conducted a seminal investigation into consumer behavior and product satisfaction, asserting that individual preferences are often influenced by subtle, seemingly unrelated factors. This assertion underscores the notion that the proliferation of kindergarten students may exert an unforeseen sway on the discernment of Apple enthusiasts, prompting us to embark on a journey of inquiry that transcends the conventional boundaries of market research.
Doe and Jones, in their comprehensive review of educational demographics, posited that the societal landscape undergoes subtle shifts with the ebb and flow of student enrollment patterns. While their focus was primarily on educational policy, the implications of these demographic fluctuations extend to hitherto unexplored domains, beckoning us to contemplate the whimsical interplay between scholastic trends and consumer proclivities.
Turning to the literary realm for deeper insights, "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell offers a compelling exploration of the intricate mechanisms underpinning societal phenomena. Within the pages of this captivating work, Gladwell posits that seemingly innocuous events can catalyze momentous shifts, inviting us to ponder the unforeseen confluence of kindergarten enrollment and Apple aficionados' satisfaction as a potential inflection point in consumer behavior.
In a departure from non-fiction literature, the whimsical, yet thought-provoking narrative of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll beckons us to embrace the surreal and the unexpected. Much like Alice's unanticipated foray into an alternate reality, our findings venture into a realm where kindergarten enrollment and consumer satisfaction intersect, impelling us to contemplate the delightfully unpredictable nature of statistical correlations.
Drawing inspiration from unlikely sources, the board game "Snakes and Ladders" serves as a metaphor for the serpentine path of statistical inquiry. As we ascend the ladder of knowledge and grapple with the pitfalls of data analysis, our quest for understanding unveils a wondrous world of interconnectedness, replete with unexpected twists and turns.
While the path to unraveling this peculiar correlation may appear labyrinthine, our journey is underpinned by an ardent pursuit of empirical truth and a penchant for embracing the delightful absurdities that delineate the boundaries of statistical inquiry.

[[RESULTS]]
Having meticulously combed through the vast expanse of data, our analysis unearthed a striking correlation between the number of public school students in kindergarten and customer satisfaction with Apple products. The correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 indicates a strong positive relationship between these two ostensibly distinct realms, with the r-squared value of 0.6719791 signifying that over 67% of the variability in Apple customer satisfaction can be explained by the variance in kindergarten enrollments. Furthermore, our findings were bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, intimating a statistically significant association.
This unexpected finding prompts us to contemplate the myriad ways in which these seemingly unrelated domains may intersect. Fig. 1 illustrates the compelling relationship between kindergarten enrollment and Apple customer satisfaction, with a scatterplot vividly portraying the robust correlation that has perplexed and delighted us in equal measure.
The implications of this noteworthy discovery are manifold, as it challenges conventional wisdom and beckons us to consider the whimsical interconnectedness of spheres that, at first glance, appear to be light-years apart. This revelatory association not only expands the horizons of statistical understanding but also serves as a gentle nudge to reevaluate our perception of the intricate tapestry of human experiences.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our study provide compelling evidence of a robust and statistically significant relationship between the number of public school students in kindergarten and customer satisfaction with Apple products. This unexpected correlation prompts a deeper consideration of the interplay between educational trends and consumer preferences, challenging traditional paradigms and underscoring the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly disparate domains.

Our results, which align with prior research on the influence of subtle and seemingly unrelated factors on consumer behavior, echo the sentiments espoused by Smith et al. The enthralling notion that the proliferation of kindergarten students may subtly sway the discernment of Apple enthusiasts is a testament to the far-reaching implications of our findings. As the tendrils of statistical analysis reach into the unlikeliest of domains, the echoes of demographers Doe and Jones resonate, emphasizing the societal shifts induced by fluctuations in student enrollment patterns and their potential impact on consumer proclivities.

Delving into the brazenly unexpected, our study hearkens back to the enigmatic musings of "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell, as it challenges conventional understanding of consumer behavior by highlighting the unanticipated confluence of kindergarten enrollment and Apple aficionados' satisfaction as a potential inflection point in market dynamics. This unexpected convergence, akin to the surreal escapades in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and the serpentine path of statistical inquiry evoked by "Snakes and Ladders," underscores the whimsical nature of statistical correlations and beckons us to embrace the delightful absurdities that delineate the boundaries of empirical truth.

The robust correlation coefficient and r-squared value corroborate and extend prior research, highlighting the salient role of kindergarten enrollment in explaining over two-thirds of the variability in Apple customer satisfaction. The statistical significance underscored by the low p-value reaffirms the compelling nature of this unexpected relationship, prompting a reflective pause to ponder the myriad ways in which these ostensibly unrelated domains intersect.

In conclusion, our findings not only expand the frontiers of statistical understanding but also beckon us to contemplate the delightful absurdities and unforeseen connections that underpin our collective human experiences. The confluence of kindergarten enrollment and Apple customer satisfaction serves as a compelling testament to the intricate and often perplexing nature of statistical relationships, inviting further inquiry into the whimsical interconnectedness that delineates the tapestry of modern society.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of public school students in Kindergarten and Customer satisfaction with Apple. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The confluence of seemingly disparate realms such as education and consumer satisfaction has long been a subject of intrigue, amusement, and bewilderment. At first glance, one might ponder the likelihood of any discernible relationship between the burgeoning cohort of young scholars entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten and the discerning connoisseurs of Apple products. However, as the aphorism goes, "truth is stranger than fiction," and indeed, the enigmatic world of correlations has a penchant for confounding our preconceived notions.
The ubiquity of Apple's technological marvels in the modern age is indisputable, with swathes of individuals wielding their iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks like their dearest companions. Meanwhile, the influx of pint-sized prodigies brimming with insatiable curiosity and unbridled energy into the educational milieu is a sight to behold. One might be forgiven for assuming that the trajectories of these two domains were as orthogonal as can be. Yet, as we shall now demonstrate, the labyrinthine corridors of statistical analysis have unveiled a surprising connection between these seemingly unrelated facets of life.
As scholars, practitioners, and purveyors of knowledge, it is incumbent upon us to venture into uncharted terrain and scrutinize the quirks and caprices of our data. The present study aims to do just that, by delving into the heretofore unexplored relationship between the number of public school students enrolled in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple aficionados. Our investigation has leveraged a robust and extensive dataset spanning a considerable timeframe, affording us the opportunity to tease out patterns that might otherwise have eluded the naked eye.
This peculiar conundrum is not merely an exercise in statistical amusement, but rather an invitation to unravel the intangible threads that weave together the fabric of our societal tapestry. Join us as we embark on a journey to peel away the layers of complexity and uncover the unexpected ties that bind, in what can only be described as a symphony of statistical serendipity.

[[RESULTS]]
Having meticulously combed through the vast expanse of data, our analysis unearthed a striking correlation between the number of public school students in kindergarten and customer satisfaction with Apple products. The correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 indicates a strong positive relationship between these two ostensibly distinct realms, with the r-squared value of 0.6719791 signifying that over 67% of the variability in Apple customer satisfaction can be explained by the variance in kindergarten enrollments. Furthermore, our findings were bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, intimating a statistically significant association.
This unexpected finding prompts us to contemplate the myriad ways in which these seemingly unrelated domains may intersect. Fig. 1 illustrates the compelling relationship between kindergarten enrollment and Apple customer satisfaction, with a scatterplot vividly portraying the robust correlation that has perplexed and delighted us in equal measure.
The implications of this noteworthy discovery are manifold, as it challenges conventional wisdom and beckons us to consider the whimsical interconnectedness of spheres that, at first glance, appear to be light-years apart. This revelatory association not only expands the horizons of statistical understanding but also serves as a gentle nudge to reevaluate our perception of the intricate tapestry of human experiences.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation has unveiled a compelling and unexpected connection between the number of public school students in kindergarten and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 point to a relationship that defies conventional expectations. As we reflect on the whimsical interconnectedness of these seemingly disparate realms, it becomes evident that the enigmatic web of correlations has once again confounded our preconceived notions. It is as if the innocent curiosity of young minds and the sleek allure of Apple products have struck an uncanny chord, intertwining in a dance of statistical serendipity.

The implications of this revelation echo far beyond the realm of statistical amusement, sparking contemplation on the intricate tapestry of human experiences. While the precise mechanisms underlying this correlation remain enigmatic, our findings underscore the need to embrace the unexpected and venture into uncharted terrain with an open mind and a keen eye for the unexpected.

With this revelation, it is clear that no more research is needed in this area. The whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains has been illuminated, leaving us with a statistical enigma that calls for further contemplation and reflection rather than additional data analysis.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Quirky Correlations


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Quirky Social Science Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Corelation Conundrum: An Examination of the Relationship Between Kindergarten Enrollment and Apple Customer Satisfaction with an abstract of This study delves into the often-overlooked association between the burgeoning number of public school kindergarten students and the satisfaction levels of Apple customers. Utilizing a trove of data from the National Center for Education Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 1994 to 2021, we applied statistical analyses to unravel the perplexing web of interconnections. Our findings reveal a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.8197433 and a compelling p-value of < 0.01, underscoring the presence of a significant relationship. The implications of this unexpected bond between the innocent cherubs embarking on their educational journey and aficionados of the Cupertino-based tech behemoth are as fascinating as they are enigmatic. This study not only expands the frontiers of knowledge but also prompts a reflective pause to ponder the whimsical interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated domains.

ChatGPT:

kindergarten enrollment, public school statistics, apple customer satisfaction, correlation coefficient, statistical analysis, National Center for Education Statistics, American Customer Satisfaction Index

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Number of public school students in Kindergarten
Detailed data title: Kindergarten enrollment in public elementary and secondary schools
Source: National Center for Education Statistics
See what else correlates with Number of public school students in Kindergarten

Customer satisfaction with Apple
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with Apple

Correlation r = 0.8197433 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.6719791 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 67.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with Apple) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Number of public school students in Kindergarten) over the 28 years from 1994 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 9.5E-8. 0.0000000946308422454959700000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.82 in 9.5E-6% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 10,567,379 random variables You don't actually need 10 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 27 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 27 because we have two variables measured over a period of 28 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.64, 0.91 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
1994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Number of public school students in Kindergarten (Students)3444280353623035322603503490344287033972003381580337915034339003503280354355036194203631000360941036397503677970368209037464203830980383353037724103713100369916036842403681160371602033779003554410
Customer satisfaction with Apple (Consumer Satisfaction)77757670697275737377818183798584868786878484848383838282




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3444280,3536230,3532260,3503490,3442870,3397200,3381580,3379150,3433900,3503280,3543550,3619420,3631000,3609410,3639750,3677970,3682090,3746420,3830980,3833530,3772410,3713100,3699160,3684240,3681160,3716020,3377900,3554410,])
array_2 = np.array([77,75,76,70,69,72,75,73,73,77,81,81,83,79,85,84,86,87,86,87,84,84,84,83,83,83,82,82,])
array_1_name = "Number of public school students in Kindergarten"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with Apple"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 2130 · Black Variable ID: 1297 · Red Variable ID: 19869
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