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Spurious correlation #2,428 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Neptune and Earth and the second variable is Burglaries in Kansas.  The chart goes from 1985 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As Neptune got closer, its gravitational pull on Neptune-etheless law-abiding citizens increased, creating a cosmic neighborhood watch.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Prompt: Create an image of a group of comical intergalactic thieves scratching their heads in frustration as their malfunctioning teleportation devices spark and sputter. In the background, show the serene night sky of Kansas with the distant figure of Neptune looming large, its mystical aura causing ripples across the scene and disrupting the thieves' plans. The town should appear peaceful and untouched by burglary, contrasting the chaotic situation of the thieves. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cybernetic art Cyber folk Parallax art Charcoal a funny image you would see on reddit
ChatGPT: a funny image you would see on reddit

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas, in the following situation: Neptune's gravitational pull was interfering with the efficiency of teleportation devices used by intergalactic thieves, leading to a decrease in successful heists in Kansas.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quiet Kansas town, a group of frustrated intergalactic thieves stood around their malfunctioning teleportation devices, scratching their heads in bewilderment. Meanwhile, millions of miles away, Neptune hung in the night sky, its celestial presence creating a ripple effect that disrupted the thieves' carefully planned heists. As a result, the local authorities reported a noticeable decrease in burglaries across Kansas, leaving the town at peace as Neptune continued to exert its mysterious influence from afar.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ a funny image you would see on reddit ] and depicting this scene: In a quiet Kansas town, a group of frustrated intergalactic thieves stood around their malfunctioning teleportation devices, scratching their heads in bewilderment. Meanwhile, millions of miles away, Neptune hung in the night sky, its celestial presence creating a ripple effect that disrupted the thieves' carefully planned heists. As a result, the local authorities reported a noticeable decrease in burglaries across Kansas, leaving the town at peace as Neptune continued to exert its mysterious influence from afar. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Prompt: Create an image of a group of comical intergalactic thieves scratching their heads in frustration as their malfunctioning teleportation devices spark and sputter. In the background, show the serene night sky of Kansas with the distant figure of Neptune looming large, its mystical aura causing ripples across the scene and disrupting the thieves' plans. The town should appear peaceful and untouched by burglary, contrasting the chaotic situation of the thieves.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Neptune and Earth caused Burglaries in Kansas to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

The Journal of Interplanetary Criminology

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and p < 0.01 for 1985 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The eternal question of whether cosmic events have any influence on human behavior has long captivated the imaginations of curious minds. From the celestial ballet of planets to the earthly hustle and bustle of criminal activities, the connection between the two realms has been a subject of both amusement and skepticism. In this study, we embark on an interstellar odyssey to explore the uncanny relationship between the distance from Neptune, the furthest and most enigmatic planet in our solar system, and the occurrence of burglaries in the steadfast heartland of America, Kansas.

While traditional criminological theories have often focused on more earthbound factors such as socioeconomic status, urbanization, and law enforcement, our research breaks new ground by venturing into the uncharted territory of celestial influence on criminal behavior. The unexpected linkage between Neptune's distant orbit and illicit activities in the Sunflower State may at first seem as improbable as finding a grain of sand at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. However, armed with the power of astrophysical data and a dash of whimsy, we set forth to unravel the cosmic conundrum enshrouding this unlikely association.

As we delve into the depths of this perplexing celestial enigma, we simultaneously confront the gravity of the situation at hand. The statistical analysis of the spatial and temporal relationship between Neptune's celestial whereabouts and the reported burglaries in Kansas over the years has revealed a correlation that is as striking as a comet across the night sky. The findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value lower than your hopes for a sunny day during monsoon season, defy conventional understanding and demand thoughtful scrutiny.

What sets this inquiry apart from the mundane is not just the unexpected correlation but the potential implications for both the arcane field of astrophysics and the pragmatic realm of criminology. We invite the reader to embark on this cosmic caper with us, as we unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on earthly misdemeanors, and perhaps we might even find that the answer was written in the stars all along.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The eternal question of whether cosmic events have any influence on human behavior has long captivated the imaginations of curious minds. From the celestial ballet of planets to the earthly hustle and bustle of criminal activities, the connection between the two realms has been a subject of both amusement and skepticism. In this study, we embark on an interstellar odyssey to explore the uncanny relationship between the distance from Neptune, the furthest and most enigmatic planet in our solar system, and the occurrence of burglaries in the steadfast heartland of America, Kansas.
While traditional criminological theories have often focused on more earthbound factors such as socioeconomic status, urbanization, and law enforcement, our research breaks new ground by venturing into the uncharted territory of celestial influence on criminal behavior. The unexpected linkage between Neptune's distant orbit and illicit activities in the Sunflower State may at first seem as improbable as finding a grain of sand at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. However, armed with the power of astrophysical data and a dash of whimsy, we set forth to unravel the cosmic conundrum enshrouding this unlikely association.
As we delve into the depths of this perplexing celestial enigma, we simultaneously confront the gravity of the situation at hand. The statistical analysis of the spatial and temporal relationship between Neptune's celestial whereabouts and the reported burglaries in Kansas over the years has revealed a correlation that is as striking as a comet across the night sky. The findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value lower than your hopes for a sunny day during monsoon season, defy conventional understanding and demand thoughtful scrutiny.
What sets this inquiry apart from the mundane is not just the unexpected correlation but the potential implications for both the arcane field of astrophysics and the pragmatic realm of criminology. We invite the reader to embark on this cosmic caper with us, as we unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on earthly misdemeanors, and perhaps we might even find that the answer was written in the stars all along.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In the annals of scholarly inquiry, the pursuit of knowledge often leads researchers down unexpected paths, exploring unconventional hypotheses that challenge conventional wisdom. In "Planetary Distances and Earthly Mischief," Smith et al. ponder the potential link between the distance from Neptune, the icy giant of the solar system, and the incidence of criminal acts in the American heartland. Their earnest investigation delves into the realm of celestial influence on human behavior, laying the groundwork for our own cosmic escapade traversing the the celestial highways.

Doe and Jones, in their authoritative work "Astrological Anomalies and Criminal Conundrums," harken back to ancient beliefs in cosmic causality and its impact on human destinies. While their findings delve into the more mystic territory of astrology, they spark contemplation on the role of cosmic bodies in shaping human actions, paving the way for our exploration of the Neptunian connection.

As we venture into the realm of literature beyond traditional research, we encounter the intriguing contributions of non-fiction works such as "Neptune: The Elusive Ice Giant" by Astrophysics Today and "The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services Handbook" by Law Enforcement Press. These invaluable resources provide the foundation to bridge the gap between the cosmos and earthly misdeeds, offering celestial insights and earthly data to fuel our investigation.

Furthermore, the fictional realm offers its own peculiar yet pertinent contributions, with books such as "Neptunian Nights: A Crime Thriller" by Mystery Novelist Extraordinaire and "Kansas Chaos: An Interstellar Adventure" by Science Fiction Enthusiast. While these works may dwell in the realm of imagination, they provoke contemplation on the interplay between the celestial and the terrestrial, offering a whimsical lens through which to view our own findings.

As we peer into the more lighthearted realm of childhood nostalgia, we cannot overlook the influence of cartoons and children's shows that have inadvertently touched upon the celestial mysteries. Shows such as "The Magic School Bus" and "Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated" have titillated young minds with their cosmic capers and courageous investigations, planting seeds of curiosity that may have unknowingly sprouted into our own research endeavors.

The diverse array of literature, spanning from scholarly works to literary imaginings, serves as a testament to the pervasive allure of uncovering the unexpected and the unexplained. Our own investigation, while firmly rooted in empirical data and rigorous analysis, draws inspiration from this rich tapestry of knowledge and speculation as we embark on our own whimsical pursuit of truth amidst the cosmic chaos.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1985 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The eternal question of whether cosmic events have any influence on human behavior has long captivated the imaginations of curious minds. From the celestial ballet of planets to the earthly hustle and bustle of criminal activities, the connection between the two realms has been a subject of both amusement and skepticism. In this study, we embark on an interstellar odyssey to explore the uncanny relationship between the distance from Neptune, the furthest and most enigmatic planet in our solar system, and the occurrence of burglaries in the steadfast heartland of America, Kansas.
While traditional criminological theories have often focused on more earthbound factors such as socioeconomic status, urbanization, and law enforcement, our research breaks new ground by venturing into the uncharted territory of celestial influence on criminal behavior. The unexpected linkage between Neptune's distant orbit and illicit activities in the Sunflower State may at first seem as improbable as finding a grain of sand at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. However, armed with the power of astrophysical data and a dash of whimsy, we set forth to unravel the cosmic conundrum enshrouding this unlikely association.
As we delve into the depths of this perplexing celestial enigma, we simultaneously confront the gravity of the situation at hand. The statistical analysis of the spatial and temporal relationship between Neptune's celestial whereabouts and the reported burglaries in Kansas over the years has revealed a correlation that is as striking as a comet across the night sky. The findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value lower than your hopes for a sunny day during monsoon season, defy conventional understanding and demand thoughtful scrutiny.
What sets this inquiry apart from the mundane is not just the unexpected correlation but the potential implications for both the arcane field of astrophysics and the pragmatic realm of criminology. We invite the reader to embark on this cosmic caper with us, as we unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on earthly misdemeanors, and perhaps we might even find that the answer was written in the stars all along.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

As the saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going," and our research team certainly upheld this mantra as we navigated through the astronomical and criminological labyrinth to uncover the elusive link between Neptune's distance and the frequency of burglaries in Kansas. Our approach combined elements of celestial census-taking and statistical sleuthing, all in an attempt to shed light on this celestial oddity.

First and foremost, our journey into the cosmos began with the utilization of advanced astronomical software, namely Astropy. With its celestial mapping capabilities, data visualization tools, and a sprinkle of cosmic curiosity, Astropy allowed us to precisely pinpoint the distance between Neptune and Earth at different time points from 1985 to 2022. We must admit, maneuvering through the vast expanse of celestial data felt akin to navigating through an interstellar corn maze with a blindfold on – challenging, yet exhilarating.

On the terrestrial front, our research team turned to the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the invaluable records of reported burglaries in Kansas over the same time period. We combed through these databases with the same tenacity as a squirrel scouring for acorns in the autumn, meticulously documenting the incidence and frequency of these unlawful entries.

With the celestial and earthly data in hand, we then put on our statistical spectacles and embarked on the arduous, yet exhilarating, task of analysis. We employed correlation analysis, regression modeling, and other statistical methods with the diligence of a cosmic detective seeking the key to unlocking this celestial conundrum. The correlation coefficient and p-value, like the North Star guiding ancient mariners, served as our compass in navigating the sea of statistical inference.

Altogether, our methodology was akin to traversing a celestial obstacle course, but with the dual purpose of unraveling the mysteries of the universe and terrestrial misdeeds. While our approach may seem as fanciful as grasping moonbeams, it is with a blend of academic rigor and whimsy that we embarked on this journey, daring to peer beyond the realm of conventional inquiry and into the cosmic unknown.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1985 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9629282, r-squared of 0.9272307, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The eternal question of whether cosmic events have any influence on human behavior has long captivated the imaginations of curious minds. From the celestial ballet of planets to the earthly hustle and bustle of criminal activities, the connection between the two realms has been a subject of both amusement and skepticism. In this study, we embark on an interstellar odyssey to explore the uncanny relationship between the distance from Neptune, the furthest and most enigmatic planet in our solar system, and the occurrence of burglaries in the steadfast heartland of America, Kansas.
While traditional criminological theories have often focused on more earthbound factors such as socioeconomic status, urbanization, and law enforcement, our research breaks new ground by venturing into the uncharted territory of celestial influence on criminal behavior. The unexpected linkage between Neptune's distant orbit and illicit activities in the Sunflower State may at first seem as improbable as finding a grain of sand at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. However, armed with the power of astrophysical data and a dash of whimsy, we set forth to unravel the cosmic conundrum enshrouding this unlikely association.
As we delve into the depths of this perplexing celestial enigma, we simultaneously confront the gravity of the situation at hand. The statistical analysis of the spatial and temporal relationship between Neptune's celestial whereabouts and the reported burglaries in Kansas over the years has revealed a correlation that is as striking as a comet across the night sky. The findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value lower than your hopes for a sunny day during monsoon season, defy conventional understanding and demand thoughtful scrutiny.
What sets this inquiry apart from the mundane is not just the unexpected correlation but the potential implications for both the arcane field of astrophysics and the pragmatic realm of criminology. We invite the reader to embark on this cosmic caper with us, as we unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on earthly misdemeanors, and perhaps we might even find that the answer was written in the stars all along.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of the collected data revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the distance from Neptune and the incidence of burglaries in Kansas. The correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 suggests a very high positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. In plain English, this means that as the distance from Neptune to Earth changes, so does the number of burglaries in Kansas – quite the cosmic caper, indeed. The r-squared value of 0.9272307 further emphasizes the strength of this relationship, indicating that over 92% of the variation in burglary rates can be attributed to the distance from Neptune. This is beyond what we might call a "celestial coincidence."

The p-value of less than 0.01 implies that the correlation observed is statistically significant, providing compelling evidence that the relationship between Neptune's distance and burglary rates in Kansas is not just a random fluke – unlike finding a dime in a haystack. These findings challenge conventional notions of causality, prompting us to ponder whether there may be a "Neptunian effect" at play in the criminal activities of Kansas.

The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the strong positive correlation between the distance from Neptune and the number of reported burglaries in Kansas over the 37-year period. Each point on the plot seems to exclaim, "Thieves come in Neptune's night!" The apparent celestial influence on earthly misdeeds is as puzzling as it is intriguing, and it invites further exploration into the cosmic connections to everyday human behavior.

Overall, our results lend support to the notion that cosmic events may have a more tangible impact on terrestrial affairs than previously thought. This unexpected discovery not only adds a celestial twist to criminological theories but also underscores the interconnectedness of the universe in ways that transcend the boundaries of traditional disciplinary silos. As we navigate through this celestial labyrinth, one cannot help but marvel at the mysterious ways in which the cosmos may be at play in shaping the human experience.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In the annals of scholarly inquiry, the pursuit of knowledge often leads researchers down unexpected paths, exploring unconventional hypotheses that challenge conventional wisdom. In "Planetary Distances and Earthly Mischief," Smith et al. ponder the potential link between the distance from Neptune, the icy giant of the solar system, and the incidence of criminal acts in the American heartland. Their earnest investigation delves into the realm of celestial influence on human behavior, laying the groundwork for our own cosmic escapade traversing the the celestial highways.
Doe and Jones, in their authoritative work "Astrological Anomalies and Criminal Conundrums," harken back to ancient beliefs in cosmic causality and its impact on human destinies. While their findings delve into the more mystic territory of astrology, they spark contemplation on the role of cosmic bodies in shaping human actions, paving the way for our exploration of the Neptunian connection.
As we venture into the realm of literature beyond traditional research, we encounter the intriguing contributions of non-fiction works such as "Neptune: The Elusive Ice Giant" by Astrophysics Today and "The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services Handbook" by Law Enforcement Press. These invaluable resources provide the foundation to bridge the gap between the cosmos and earthly misdeeds, offering celestial insights and earthly data to fuel our investigation.
Furthermore, the fictional realm offers its own peculiar yet pertinent contributions, with books such as "Neptunian Nights: A Crime Thriller" by Mystery Novelist Extraordinaire and "Kansas Chaos: An Interstellar Adventure" by Science Fiction Enthusiast. While these works may dwell in the realm of imagination, they provoke contemplation on the interplay between the celestial and the terrestrial, offering a whimsical lens through which to view our own findings.
As we peer into the more lighthearted realm of childhood nostalgia, we cannot overlook the influence of cartoons and children's shows that have inadvertently touched upon the celestial mysteries. Shows such as "The Magic School Bus" and "Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated" have titillated young minds with their cosmic capers and courageous investigations, planting seeds of curiosity that may have unknowingly sprouted into our own research endeavors.
The diverse array of literature, spanning from scholarly works to literary imaginings, serves as a testament to the pervasive allure of uncovering the unexpected and the unexplained. Our own investigation, while firmly rooted in empirical data and rigorous analysis, draws inspiration from this rich tapestry of knowledge and speculation as we embark on our own whimsical pursuit of truth amidst the cosmic chaos.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the collected data revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the distance from Neptune and the incidence of burglaries in Kansas. The correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 suggests a very high positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. In plain English, this means that as the distance from Neptune to Earth changes, so does the number of burglaries in Kansas – quite the cosmic caper, indeed. The r-squared value of 0.9272307 further emphasizes the strength of this relationship, indicating that over 92% of the variation in burglary rates can be attributed to the distance from Neptune. This is beyond what we might call a "celestial coincidence."
The p-value of less than 0.01 implies that the correlation observed is statistically significant, providing compelling evidence that the relationship between Neptune's distance and burglary rates in Kansas is not just a random fluke – unlike finding a dime in a haystack. These findings challenge conventional notions of causality, prompting us to ponder whether there may be a "Neptunian effect" at play in the criminal activities of Kansas.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the strong positive correlation between the distance from Neptune and the number of reported burglaries in Kansas over the 37-year period. Each point on the plot seems to exclaim, "Thieves come in Neptune's night!" The apparent celestial influence on earthly misdeeds is as puzzling as it is intriguing, and it invites further exploration into the cosmic connections to everyday human behavior.
Overall, our results lend support to the notion that cosmic events may have a more tangible impact on terrestrial affairs than previously thought. This unexpected discovery not only adds a celestial twist to criminological theories but also underscores the interconnectedness of the universe in ways that transcend the boundaries of traditional disciplinary silos. As we navigate through this celestial labyrinth, one cannot help but marvel at the mysterious ways in which the cosmos may be at play in shaping the human experience.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our study, while undeniably celestial in nature, bring to light a cosmic conundrum that sheds new light on the hitherto unexplored connection between astronomical phenomena and criminal activities in the heart of America. The remarkably strong correlation between the distance from Neptune and the incidence of burglaries in Kansas appears to support the prior research conducted by Smith et al. and further justifies the cosmic escapade initiated by our own investigation.

Indeed, Smith et al., with their earnest exploration, laid the groundwork for our celestial quest of unveiling the celestial highways that bear influence on terrestrial misdeeds. Just as we set our sights on Neptune, using the advanced astronomical tool Astropy as our guiding star, they too gazed at the heavens, pondering the potential link between the distant ice giant and the earthly enigma of criminal acts in the American Midwest. Their work, in its earnestness and fortitude, inspires a cosmic curiosity that our own exploration aims to satiate.

Furthermore, the enigmatic yet pertinent contributions from the fictional realm, such as "Neptunian Nights: A Crime Thriller," have inadvertently touched upon the celestial mysteries and unwittingly propelled our own whimsical pursuit of truth amidst the cosmic chaos. These literary imaginings, while dwelling in the realm of imagination, offer a lens through which to view our own findings, albeit through a more whimsical and unconventional perspective.

Our results, with a correlation coefficient nearing 1 and a statistical significance level of less than 0.01, confidently assert that there is indeed a perplexing linkage between the distance from Neptune and the incidence of burglaries in Kansas. This finding, while alluringly cosmic in nature, tantalizes the imagination and calls for a contemplation of the role cosmic events may play in shaping terrestrial affairs. The strong positive relationship depicted in the scatterplot seems to scream, "Burglars dancing in Neptune's moonlight, stealing under celestial delight!" Our findings not only add a celestial twist to criminological theories but also affirm the interconnectedness of the universe in ways that defy disciplinary boundaries.

In essence, our study, while firmly rooted in empirical data and rigorous analysis, dances on the celestial highwire, balancing the terrestrial mischief with the cosmic capers, urging researchers to ponder the Neptunian effect on the criminal activities of Kansas. As we navigate the celestial labyrinth, we are reminded that in the cosmic symphony, even the seemingly distant planets may influence the terrestrial dance of human behavior. So, as we map the trajectory of Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in Kansas, we are undeniably drawn closer to the elegance of celestial chaos and the enigmatic ways in which it intertwines with earthly affairs.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Earth and Burglaries in Kansas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The eternal question of whether cosmic events have any influence on human behavior has long captivated the imaginations of curious minds. From the celestial ballet of planets to the earthly hustle and bustle of criminal activities, the connection between the two realms has been a subject of both amusement and skepticism. In this study, we embark on an interstellar odyssey to explore the uncanny relationship between the distance from Neptune, the furthest and most enigmatic planet in our solar system, and the occurrence of burglaries in the steadfast heartland of America, Kansas.
While traditional criminological theories have often focused on more earthbound factors such as socioeconomic status, urbanization, and law enforcement, our research breaks new ground by venturing into the uncharted territory of celestial influence on criminal behavior. The unexpected linkage between Neptune's distant orbit and illicit activities in the Sunflower State may at first seem as improbable as finding a grain of sand at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. However, armed with the power of astrophysical data and a dash of whimsy, we set forth to unravel the cosmic conundrum enshrouding this unlikely association.
As we delve into the depths of this perplexing celestial enigma, we simultaneously confront the gravity of the situation at hand. The statistical analysis of the spatial and temporal relationship between Neptune's celestial whereabouts and the reported burglaries in Kansas over the years has revealed a correlation that is as striking as a comet across the night sky. The findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value lower than your hopes for a sunny day during monsoon season, defy conventional understanding and demand thoughtful scrutiny.
What sets this inquiry apart from the mundane is not just the unexpected correlation but the potential implications for both the arcane field of astrophysics and the pragmatic realm of criminology. We invite the reader to embark on this cosmic caper with us, as we unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on earthly misdemeanors, and perhaps we might even find that the answer was written in the stars all along.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the collected data revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the distance from Neptune and the incidence of burglaries in Kansas. The correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 suggests a very high positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. In plain English, this means that as the distance from Neptune to Earth changes, so does the number of burglaries in Kansas – quite the cosmic caper, indeed. The r-squared value of 0.9272307 further emphasizes the strength of this relationship, indicating that over 92% of the variation in burglary rates can be attributed to the distance from Neptune. This is beyond what we might call a "celestial coincidence."
The p-value of less than 0.01 implies that the correlation observed is statistically significant, providing compelling evidence that the relationship between Neptune's distance and burglary rates in Kansas is not just a random fluke – unlike finding a dime in a haystack. These findings challenge conventional notions of causality, prompting us to ponder whether there may be a "Neptunian effect" at play in the criminal activities of Kansas.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually illustrates the strong positive correlation between the distance from Neptune and the number of reported burglaries in Kansas over the 37-year period. Each point on the plot seems to exclaim, "Thieves come in Neptune's night!" The apparent celestial influence on earthly misdeeds is as puzzling as it is intriguing, and it invites further exploration into the cosmic connections to everyday human behavior.
Overall, our results lend support to the notion that cosmic events may have a more tangible impact on terrestrial affairs than previously thought. This unexpected discovery not only adds a celestial twist to criminological theories but also underscores the interconnectedness of the universe in ways that transcend the boundaries of traditional disciplinary silos. As we navigate through this celestial labyrinth, one cannot help but marvel at the mysterious ways in which the cosmos may be at play in shaping the human experience.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has boldly gone where no academic study has gone before, unraveling the cosmic conundrum of the link between Neptune's nautical distance and the number of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. The unexpected correlation coefficient of 0.9629282 and a p-value that's lower than the odds of finding a four-leaf clover on a cloudy day provide compelling evidence of this celestial caper. The interplay between celestial measurements and earthly mischief has left us not just scratching our heads but pondering whether there may be a lurking "Neptunian effect" in the criminal activities of Kansas.

Our findings speak volumes about the interconnectedness of the universe, serving as a celestial reminder that the cosmos may have a role in shaping the human experience – a revelation that is as mind-boggling as it is intriguing. With results as surprising as finding a polar bear in the Sahara, our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and conjures up a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations.

In light of these cosmic revelations, it's safe to say that our research has uncovered a 'Neptune-nal' phenomenon, and it's high time we acknowledge the cosmic dance of planets may have terrestrial implications. However, with a conclusion as clear as the night sky on a cloudless evening, we assert that further research in this celestial and criminal nexus is as necessary as bringing an umbrella to a desert.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Interplanetary Criminology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Interplanetary Institute for Interconnected Investigations


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Neptune's Nautical Nuisance: Navigating the Link Between the Distance from Neptune and the Number of Burglaries in Kansas with an abstract of This paper delves into the unforeseen connection between the distance from Neptune and the prevalence of burglaries in the heart of America, Kansas. Despite the apparent cosmic disconnect, our research team assembled data utilizing the advanced astronomical tool Astropy and judiciously combed through the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records. Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9629282, with a p-value less than 0.01 for the time frame spanning from 1985 to 2022. Upon further scrutiny, these results shed light on the academic and gravitational conundrum of why the spatial separation of Neptune from Earth exerts an inexplicable influence on criminal activities in the terrestrial domain. This incongruous alliance between celestial measurements and criminal behavior not only raises eyebrows but also inspires a plethora of undoubtedly celestial, rogue speculations. Our investigation offers a celestial twist to conventional criminological theories and encourages further exploration into the cosmic chaos lurking behind earthly mischief.

ChatGPT:

Neptune, distance from Neptune, burglaries, Kansas, Astropy, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services records, correlation coefficient, p-value, astronomical influence, criminal activities, Neptune and Earth, celestial measurements, criminological theories, cosmic influence, Neptune's effect on criminal behavior

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Neptune and Earth
Detailed data title: The average distance between Neptune and Earth as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Neptune and Earth

Burglaries in Kansas
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Kansas
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Kansas

Correlation r = 0.9629282 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9272307 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 92.7% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Kansas) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Neptune and Earth) over the 38 years from 1985 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.5E-22. 0.0000000000000000000004480813
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.96 in 4.5E-20% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 2,231,737,856,500,594,900,992 random variables You don't actually need 2 sextillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 37 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 37 because we have two variables measured over a period of 38 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.93, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19851986198719881989199019911992199319941995199619971998199920002001200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
The distance between Neptune and Earth (Planetary distance (AU))30.233330.224530.214830.205830.195630.187130.179530.172930.16630.159430.152130.143730.134230.123430.111830.099430.088130.077230.067430.057930.051230.044330.037430.028930.021930.012830.002829.990729.981729.971829.962829.953229.948829.943429.938729.931729.928629.9224
Burglaries in Kansas (Burglary rate)1050.61187.7113811791188.71166.51306.71293.71132.21121.21068.4981.3936.1950.3824.2799.1759.2725.7806.4737692.4726.7737.1701.3690.8675.6651.9654.1603.5548.5537.3507.6450.1439.4343.2331.4332.5273.4




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([30.2333,30.2245,30.2148,30.2058,30.1956,30.1871,30.1795,30.1729,30.166,30.1594,30.1521,30.1437,30.1342,30.1234,30.1118,30.0994,30.0881,30.0772,30.0674,30.0579,30.0512,30.0443,30.0374,30.0289,30.0219,30.0128,30.0028,29.9907,29.9817,29.9718,29.9628,29.9532,29.9488,29.9434,29.9387,29.9317,29.9286,29.9224,])
array_2 = np.array([1050.6,1187.7,1138,1179,1188.7,1166.5,1306.7,1293.7,1132.2,1121.2,1068.4,981.3,936.1,950.3,824.2,799.1,759.2,725.7,806.4,737,692.4,726.7,737.1,701.3,690.8,675.6,651.9,654.1,603.5,548.5,537.3,507.6,450.1,439.4,343.2,331.4,332.5,273.4,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Neptune and Earth"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Kansas"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2428 · Black Variable ID: 1941 · Red Variable ID: 20092
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