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Spurious correlation #4,147 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Fort Wayne and the second variable is Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts.  The chart goes from 1984 to 2023, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The Colts' opponents were too busy coughing to play defense effectively!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a high-tech football stadium in Fort Wayne, Indiana, with the Indianapolis Colts competing against an opposing team under a smoggy, hazy sky. The opposing team is depicted as visibly struggling to catch their breath and defend against the Colts, who appear to be unaffected by the air pollution. The high-tech elements should convey a futuristic atmosphere, enhancing the visual impact of the scene. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: 3D Pixar Style A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s High-tech An image that looks like it is a scene from 'Star Wars' High-tech
ChatGPT: High-tech

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts, in the following situation: The Colts' opponents were too busy coughing to play defense effectively! . Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: The sky over Fort Wayne is hazy with smog as the Indianapolis Colts play their game. The opposing team struggles to catch their breath and defend against the Colts as they cough and wheeze from the air pollution.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ High-tech ] and depicting this scene: The sky over Fort Wayne is hazy with smog as the Indianapolis Colts play their game. The opposing team struggles to catch their breath and defend against the Colts as they cough and wheeze from the air pollution. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a high-tech football stadium in Fort Wayne, Indiana, with the Indianapolis Colts competing against an opposing team under a smoggy, hazy sky. The opposing team is depicted as visibly struggling to catch their breath and defend against the Colts, who appear to be unaffected by the air pollution. The high-tech elements should convey a futuristic atmosphere, enhancing the visual impact of the scene.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in Air pollution in Fort Wayne caused Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts to increase. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts

The Journal of Environmental Influence on Sports Performance

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and p < 0.01 for 1984 to 2023.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

As researchers, we are no strangers to diving into uncharted territories, armed with our statistical models and a dash of wit. In this study, we explore the spirited dance between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, a relationship that might seem as unlikely as a defensive lineman executing a flawless ballet pirouette.

The delightful pun aside, the connection between environmental factors and athletic achievements has garnered increasing attention in the realm of sports science. With a twinkle in our eyes and an affinity for unexpected discoveries, we set out to unravel whether the air quality in Fort Wayne played a role in shaping the fate of the Colts on the field.

Our research quest took us through a maze of data, much like a cornerback navigating his opponents. The analysis involved leveraging air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency, while also juggling game statistics and season wins from the vast repository of Pro-Football-Reference.com. We meticulously examined the correlation and potential causation, analyzing the numbers with as much precision as a placekicker striking the sweet spot of the ball.

Now, let's pause for a moment to appreciate the beauty of statistical significance. Our findings, akin to a perfectly timed punt, unveiled a correlation coefficient that stood tall at 0.5523671 and a p-value that gleamed with significance at less than 0.01. These results are as remarkable as a quarterback throwing a game-winning "hail Mary" pass – truly, a touchdown in the realm of research.

In the spirit of a well-crafted dad joke, we mustn't overlook the possibility of a "quarterback sneak" when it comes to the impact of air pollution on the Colts' performance. Indeed, our study ventured into uncharted territory, uncovering the "air-raising" effects of pollution on the gridiron. This raises intriguing questions about the interplay between environmental factors and the athletic prowess of professional sports teams.

And with that, we invite you to join us on this exhilarating journey, where science meets the gridiron in a delightful tango of unexpected discoveries and, of course, a touch of good-natured humor. So, keep your puns at the ready and your statistical models in check as we navigate the "haze" of air pollution and its surprising link to the game-winning cheers for the Indianapolis Colts.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
As researchers, we are no strangers to diving into uncharted territories, armed with our statistical models and a dash of wit. In this study, we explore the spirited dance between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, a relationship that might seem as unlikely as a defensive lineman executing a flawless ballet pirouette.
The delightful pun aside, the connection between environmental factors and athletic achievements has garnered increasing attention in the realm of sports science. With a twinkle in our eyes and an affinity for unexpected discoveries, we set out to unravel whether the air quality in Fort Wayne played a role in shaping the fate of the Colts on the field.
Our research quest took us through a maze of data, much like a cornerback navigating his opponents. The analysis involved leveraging air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency, while also juggling game statistics and season wins from the vast repository of Pro-Football-Reference.com. We meticulously examined the correlation and potential causation, analyzing the numbers with as much precision as a placekicker striking the sweet spot of the ball.
Now, let's pause for a moment to appreciate the beauty of statistical significance. Our findings, akin to a perfectly timed punt, unveiled a correlation coefficient that stood tall at 0.5523671 and a p-value that gleamed with significance at less than 0.01. These results are as remarkable as a quarterback throwing a game-winning "hail Mary" pass – truly, a touchdown in the realm of research.
In the spirit of a well-crafted dad joke, we mustn't overlook the possibility of a "quarterback sneak" when it comes to the impact of air pollution on the Colts' performance. Indeed, our study ventured into uncharted territory, uncovering the "air-raising" effects of pollution on the gridiron. This raises intriguing questions about the interplay between environmental factors and the athletic prowess of professional sports teams.
And with that, we invite you to join us on this exhilarating journey, where science meets the gridiron in a delightful tango of unexpected discoveries and, of course, a touch of good-natured humor. So, keep your puns at the ready and your statistical models in check as we navigate the "haze" of air pollution and its surprising link to the game-winning cheers for the Indianapolis Colts.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their study, Smith and Doe explored the impact of air pollution on athletic performance, with a particular focus on football teams in industrial cities. Their research indicated a potential correlation between high levels of air pollution and decreased physical endurance among players, shedding light on the potential influence of environmental factors on sports outcomes. Lorem ipsum, they argue that air pollution could act as an invisible opponent, influencing the performance of professional athletes in ways that defy conventional understanding.

Speaking of invisible opponents, it's like the air pollution is playing a game of hide and seek with the Colts! One might even say that the air pollution levels are "sacking" the team's chances of victory.

Jones, in his comprehensive review of environmental influences on sports performance, delved into the intricate connection between air quality and athletic achievements. His findings echoed the sentiments of Smith and Doe, emphasizing the need for further exploration into how air pollution might impact the results of competitive sports. Lorem ipsum, Jones articulates the need for nuanced analysis, recognizing the multifaceted nature of environmental influences on athletic prowess.

It's like the Colts are chasing after a victory while also trying to escape the clutches of air pollution – quite the athletic feat, wouldn't you agree? One might say they're in a literal "race against the haze."

Now, let's take a moment to step away from scholarly articles and peer-reviewed journals and delve into the realm of literature that captivates the imagination and sparks connections. In "The Air We Breathe: A Comprehensive Study of Environmental Factors," the authors poetically weave together the intricate dance between human activities and the air we inhale. This work serves as a poignant reminder of the profound impact of air quality on our daily lives, drawing parallels to the potential effects on athletic performance.

Thinking about the Colts navigating through a season feels like reading a gripping novel, doesn't it? Each game is a chapter, with unexpected twists and turns that keep us on the edge of our seats. Talk about a real "page-turner"!

Turning to the realm of fiction, "Airborne: A Tale of Environmental Intrigue," presents an enthralling narrative that entwines the lives of its characters with the ever-present question of air pollution's consequences. While purely fictional, the themes explored in this novel mirror the real-life considerations we face when unraveling the impact of environmental factors on human endeavors, including professional sports.

You could say that the Colts' opponents are like fictional characters, trying to weave a tale of victory against the backdrop of air pollution. It's like a battle between reality and fiction, with the Colts aiming to script their own triumphant ending.

As researchers, we don't just confine ourselves to the written word. Cinema, too, holds a wealth of narratives that resonate with the themes of our investigation. In "The Game Changer," a sports drama film, the protagonists confront not only their athletic adversaries but also the environmental challenges that threaten to cloud their path to victory. The parallels between the struggles depicted in this movie and our research findings are, dare I say, "clear as air."

The Colts' journey through a season filled with triumphs and challenges almost feels like a movie in itself. We're just here to analyze the real-life plot twists and turns and see if air pollution might be playing the role of an unexpected antagonist in their story.

With the literature and cultural reflections as our guide, we emerge with a deeper appreciation for the potential impact of air pollution on the athletic endeavors of the Indianapolis Colts. In the next section, we will delve into the methodological approach employed to investigate this intriguing phenomenon, combining statistical rigor with a healthy dose of inquisitive spirit. Stay tuned as we continue our whimsical yet meaningful exploration of the "haze to hail Marys" journey.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com . You used data from 1984 to 2023

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
As researchers, we are no strangers to diving into uncharted territories, armed with our statistical models and a dash of wit. In this study, we explore the spirited dance between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, a relationship that might seem as unlikely as a defensive lineman executing a flawless ballet pirouette.
The delightful pun aside, the connection between environmental factors and athletic achievements has garnered increasing attention in the realm of sports science. With a twinkle in our eyes and an affinity for unexpected discoveries, we set out to unravel whether the air quality in Fort Wayne played a role in shaping the fate of the Colts on the field.
Our research quest took us through a maze of data, much like a cornerback navigating his opponents. The analysis involved leveraging air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency, while also juggling game statistics and season wins from the vast repository of Pro-Football-Reference.com. We meticulously examined the correlation and potential causation, analyzing the numbers with as much precision as a placekicker striking the sweet spot of the ball.
Now, let's pause for a moment to appreciate the beauty of statistical significance. Our findings, akin to a perfectly timed punt, unveiled a correlation coefficient that stood tall at 0.5523671 and a p-value that gleamed with significance at less than 0.01. These results are as remarkable as a quarterback throwing a game-winning "hail Mary" pass – truly, a touchdown in the realm of research.
In the spirit of a well-crafted dad joke, we mustn't overlook the possibility of a "quarterback sneak" when it comes to the impact of air pollution on the Colts' performance. Indeed, our study ventured into uncharted territory, uncovering the "air-raising" effects of pollution on the gridiron. This raises intriguing questions about the interplay between environmental factors and the athletic prowess of professional sports teams.
And with that, we invite you to join us on this exhilarating journey, where science meets the gridiron in a delightful tango of unexpected discoveries and, of course, a touch of good-natured humor. So, keep your puns at the ready and your statistical models in check as we navigate the "haze" of air pollution and its surprising link to the game-winning cheers for the Indianapolis Colts.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

"Obtaining data for this study was as challenging as navigating a field full of tacklers, but armed with our trusty laptops and strategic wit, we set out on our data collection voyage. The first step involved gathering air pollution data from the Environmental Protection Agency for Fort Wayne, spanning the years 1984 to 2023. We scrutinized a plethora of air quality parameters, including PM2.5, PM10, sulfur dioxide, nitrogen dioxide, carbon monoxide, and ozone levels, combing through the data like a meticulous defensive coordinator analyzing the opponent's plays.

We then turned our attention to the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, relying on the comprehensive records provided by Pro-Football-Reference.com. The win-loss records for each season, along with detailed game statistics, were scrutinized with the same attentiveness as a referee officiating a crucial play.

In keeping with the spirit of surprise and discovery, we adopted a multi-faceted approach to analyze the relationship between air pollution and the Colts' season wins. Our first foray was a straightforward correlation analysis, akin to a wide receiver sprinting down the field. We calculated correlation coefficients between air pollution levels and season wins, applying statistical models with the precision of a well-trained quarterback aiming for a touchdown pass.

To delve deeper into the potential causation, we employed a time-series analysis to unveil any temporal patterns, looking for trends with the same determination as a coach seeking that perfect play. The lighthearted banter aside, this phase of the analysis involved intricate statistical techniques, including autoregressive integrated moving average (ARIMA) models, and a fervent hope that our findings would be anything but "average."

Next, we ventured into a regression analysis, aiming to untangle the complex interplay between air pollution levels and the Colts' victories. This step was akin to a strategic play-call, with various environmental factors serving as the offense, and the Colts' wins serving as the defense – a thrilling game of numbers and relationships.

Finally, to ensure the robustness of our findings, we conducted sensitivity analyses, testing the stability of our results against different statistical assumptions and model specifications. This phase was our opportunity to cover all "quarterbacks," ensuring that our conclusions rested on a sturdy statistical foundation.

The meticulous nature of our data collection and analysis reflects the passion and rigor with which we embarked on this quest to unravel the enigmatic connection between air pollution and the gridiron triumphs of the Indianapolis Colts. Just as a successful field goal requires precision and finesse, our research methods were designed to capture the intricate dance between environmental variables and athletic achievements, albeit with a playful twist and a sprinkling of puns to keep the scientific journey anything but conventional."


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com .

For the time period 1984 to 2023, you found a correlation 0.5523671, r-squared of 0.3051094, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
As researchers, we are no strangers to diving into uncharted territories, armed with our statistical models and a dash of wit. In this study, we explore the spirited dance between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, a relationship that might seem as unlikely as a defensive lineman executing a flawless ballet pirouette.
The delightful pun aside, the connection between environmental factors and athletic achievements has garnered increasing attention in the realm of sports science. With a twinkle in our eyes and an affinity for unexpected discoveries, we set out to unravel whether the air quality in Fort Wayne played a role in shaping the fate of the Colts on the field.
Our research quest took us through a maze of data, much like a cornerback navigating his opponents. The analysis involved leveraging air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency, while also juggling game statistics and season wins from the vast repository of Pro-Football-Reference.com. We meticulously examined the correlation and potential causation, analyzing the numbers with as much precision as a placekicker striking the sweet spot of the ball.
Now, let's pause for a moment to appreciate the beauty of statistical significance. Our findings, akin to a perfectly timed punt, unveiled a correlation coefficient that stood tall at 0.5523671 and a p-value that gleamed with significance at less than 0.01. These results are as remarkable as a quarterback throwing a game-winning "hail Mary" pass – truly, a touchdown in the realm of research.
In the spirit of a well-crafted dad joke, we mustn't overlook the possibility of a "quarterback sneak" when it comes to the impact of air pollution on the Colts' performance. Indeed, our study ventured into uncharted territory, uncovering the "air-raising" effects of pollution on the gridiron. This raises intriguing questions about the interplay between environmental factors and the athletic prowess of professional sports teams.
And with that, we invite you to join us on this exhilarating journey, where science meets the gridiron in a delightful tango of unexpected discoveries and, of course, a touch of good-natured humor. So, keep your puns at the ready and your statistical models in check as we navigate the "haze" of air pollution and its surprising link to the game-winning cheers for the Indianapolis Colts.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The findings of our study, much like an unexpected interception, have us contemplating the intriguing relationship between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the number of season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. The correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 between these seemingly disparate variables suggests a moderate positive association. This numerical tidbit proves to be a "breath of fresh air" in the realm of sports science, shedding light on an unexpected link between environmental factors and athletic performance.

Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.3051094 indicates that approximately 30.5% of the variance in the Colts' season wins can be explained by variations in air pollution levels in Fort Wayne. This result is as surprising as a well-executed fake punt play, demonstrating a noteworthy impact of air quality on the gridiron feats of the Colts.

Perhaps the most riveting aspect of our findings is the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. This "p-awesomely" low p-value suggests that the observed correlation between air pollution and the Colts' wins is unlikely to occur by chance alone. It's a statistical touchdown that raises eyebrows and, undoubtedly, a few chuckles at the unlikely connection we've uncovered.

Fig. 1 showcases the strikingly strong correlation between air pollution in Fort Wayne and the season wins for the Indianapolis Colts, visually encapsulating the surprising nature of this relationship. Like a well-timed comedic pause, the figure provides a moment of comic relief amidst the serious pursuit of scientific inquiry.

In summary, our research unearths an unexpected "breathrough" – a connection that not only underscores the impact of air pollution on athletic outcomes but also brings a dash of whimsy to the world of sports science. The "air-phemeral" link between air quality and gridiron success prompts us to ponder the broader influence of environmental factors on the thrilling performances that keep fans on the edge of their seats.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their study, Smith and Doe explored the impact of air pollution on athletic performance, with a particular focus on football teams in industrial cities. Their research indicated a potential correlation between high levels of air pollution and decreased physical endurance among players, shedding light on the potential influence of environmental factors on sports outcomes. Lorem ipsum, they argue that air pollution could act as an invisible opponent, influencing the performance of professional athletes in ways that defy conventional understanding.
Speaking of invisible opponents, it's like the air pollution is playing a game of hide and seek with the Colts! One might even say that the air pollution levels are "sacking" the team's chances of victory.
Jones, in his comprehensive review of environmental influences on sports performance, delved into the intricate connection between air quality and athletic achievements. His findings echoed the sentiments of Smith and Doe, emphasizing the need for further exploration into how air pollution might impact the results of competitive sports. Lorem ipsum, Jones articulates the need for nuanced analysis, recognizing the multifaceted nature of environmental influences on athletic prowess.
It's like the Colts are chasing after a victory while also trying to escape the clutches of air pollution – quite the athletic feat, wouldn't you agree? One might say they're in a literal "race against the haze."
Now, let's take a moment to step away from scholarly articles and peer-reviewed journals and delve into the realm of literature that captivates the imagination and sparks connections. In "The Air We Breathe: A Comprehensive Study of Environmental Factors," the authors poetically weave together the intricate dance between human activities and the air we inhale. This work serves as a poignant reminder of the profound impact of air quality on our daily lives, drawing parallels to the potential effects on athletic performance.
Thinking about the Colts navigating through a season feels like reading a gripping novel, doesn't it? Each game is a chapter, with unexpected twists and turns that keep us on the edge of our seats. Talk about a real "page-turner"!
Turning to the realm of fiction, "Airborne: A Tale of Environmental Intrigue," presents an enthralling narrative that entwines the lives of its characters with the ever-present question of air pollution's consequences. While purely fictional, the themes explored in this novel mirror the real-life considerations we face when unraveling the impact of environmental factors on human endeavors, including professional sports.
You could say that the Colts' opponents are like fictional characters, trying to weave a tale of victory against the backdrop of air pollution. It's like a battle between reality and fiction, with the Colts aiming to script their own triumphant ending.
As researchers, we don't just confine ourselves to the written word. Cinema, too, holds a wealth of narratives that resonate with the themes of our investigation. In "The Game Changer," a sports drama film, the protagonists confront not only their athletic adversaries but also the environmental challenges that threaten to cloud their path to victory. The parallels between the struggles depicted in this movie and our research findings are, dare I say, "clear as air."
The Colts' journey through a season filled with triumphs and challenges almost feels like a movie in itself. We're just here to analyze the real-life plot twists and turns and see if air pollution might be playing the role of an unexpected antagonist in their story.
With the literature and cultural reflections as our guide, we emerge with a deeper appreciation for the potential impact of air pollution on the athletic endeavors of the Indianapolis Colts. In the next section, we will delve into the methodological approach employed to investigate this intriguing phenomenon, combining statistical rigor with a healthy dose of inquisitive spirit. Stay tuned as we continue our whimsical yet meaningful exploration of the "haze to hail Marys" journey.

[[RESULTS]]
The findings of our study, much like an unexpected interception, have us contemplating the intriguing relationship between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the number of season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. The correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 between these seemingly disparate variables suggests a moderate positive association. This numerical tidbit proves to be a "breath of fresh air" in the realm of sports science, shedding light on an unexpected link between environmental factors and athletic performance.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.3051094 indicates that approximately 30.5% of the variance in the Colts' season wins can be explained by variations in air pollution levels in Fort Wayne. This result is as surprising as a well-executed fake punt play, demonstrating a noteworthy impact of air quality on the gridiron feats of the Colts.
Perhaps the most riveting aspect of our findings is the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. This "p-awesomely" low p-value suggests that the observed correlation between air pollution and the Colts' wins is unlikely to occur by chance alone. It's a statistical touchdown that raises eyebrows and, undoubtedly, a few chuckles at the unlikely connection we've uncovered.
Fig. 1 showcases the strikingly strong correlation between air pollution in Fort Wayne and the season wins for the Indianapolis Colts, visually encapsulating the surprising nature of this relationship. Like a well-timed comedic pause, the figure provides a moment of comic relief amidst the serious pursuit of scientific inquiry.
In summary, our research unearths an unexpected "breathrough" – a connection that not only underscores the impact of air pollution on athletic outcomes but also brings a dash of whimsy to the world of sports science. The "air-phemeral" link between air quality and gridiron success prompts us to ponder the broader influence of environmental factors on the thrilling performances that keep fans on the edge of their seats.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our study have uncovered a substantial relationship between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the season wins for the Indianapolis Colts, adding a "breath of fresh air" to the field of sports science. This unexpected connection not only validates the findings of prior research by Smith and Doe, who hinted at the potential influence of environmental factors on athletic performance but also offers a "hazy" new perspective on the intricacies of sports outcomes.

Our statistically significant correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 supports the notion that high levels of air pollution could potentially "sack" the Colts' chances of victory, just as we humorously pondered in our literature review. The moderate positive association between air pollution and season wins emphasizes the pivotal role of environmental quality in shaping the gridiron feats of the Colts, affirming the "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance.

Furthermore, our results boast a robust r-squared value of 0.3051094, indicating that approximately 30.5% of the variance in the Colts' season wins can be attributed to the variations in air pollution levels in Fort Wayne. This statistical touchdown echoes the sentiments of Jones, who highlighted the need for nuanced analysis in understanding the multifaceted nature of environmental influences on athletic prowess. It seems like the Colts' triumphs and challenges are not just confined to the field but also intertwined with the invisible opponent of air pollution, creating a literal "race against the haze" as we whimsically speculated in our literature review.

The visually striking correlation depicted in Fig. 1 serves as a comedic pause, offering a moment of levity amidst the serious pursuit of scientific inquiry. We can't help but marvel at the unanticipated link between air quality and gridiron success, almost as if the air pollution levels are plotting an unexpected plot twist in the Colts' season – a real-life "game changer," wouldn't you agree?

In conclusion, our findings cement the significance of environmental quality in shaping the outcomes of professional sports, adding a touch of whimsy to the world of sports science. This study not only furthers our understanding of the "haze to hail Marys" journey but also paves the way for future research that explores the nuanced interplay between environmental factors and athletic achievements. As our investigation ultimately underscores, the impact of air pollution on the thrilling performances that keep fans on the edge of their seats is nothing to "p-awful" at – it's a statistical touchdown of its own.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Fort Wayne and Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

[[ABSTRACT]]
As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.

Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.

Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
As researchers, we are no strangers to diving into uncharted territories, armed with our statistical models and a dash of wit. In this study, we explore the spirited dance between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the performance of the Indianapolis Colts, a relationship that might seem as unlikely as a defensive lineman executing a flawless ballet pirouette.
The delightful pun aside, the connection between environmental factors and athletic achievements has garnered increasing attention in the realm of sports science. With a twinkle in our eyes and an affinity for unexpected discoveries, we set out to unravel whether the air quality in Fort Wayne played a role in shaping the fate of the Colts on the field.
Our research quest took us through a maze of data, much like a cornerback navigating his opponents. The analysis involved leveraging air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency, while also juggling game statistics and season wins from the vast repository of Pro-Football-Reference.com. We meticulously examined the correlation and potential causation, analyzing the numbers with as much precision as a placekicker striking the sweet spot of the ball.
Now, let's pause for a moment to appreciate the beauty of statistical significance. Our findings, akin to a perfectly timed punt, unveiled a correlation coefficient that stood tall at 0.5523671 and a p-value that gleamed with significance at less than 0.01. These results are as remarkable as a quarterback throwing a game-winning "hail Mary" pass – truly, a touchdown in the realm of research.
In the spirit of a well-crafted dad joke, we mustn't overlook the possibility of a "quarterback sneak" when it comes to the impact of air pollution on the Colts' performance. Indeed, our study ventured into uncharted territory, uncovering the "air-raising" effects of pollution on the gridiron. This raises intriguing questions about the interplay between environmental factors and the athletic prowess of professional sports teams.
And with that, we invite you to join us on this exhilarating journey, where science meets the gridiron in a delightful tango of unexpected discoveries and, of course, a touch of good-natured humor. So, keep your puns at the ready and your statistical models in check as we navigate the "haze" of air pollution and its surprising link to the game-winning cheers for the Indianapolis Colts.

[[RESULTS]]
The findings of our study, much like an unexpected interception, have us contemplating the intriguing relationship between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the number of season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. The correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 between these seemingly disparate variables suggests a moderate positive association. This numerical tidbit proves to be a "breath of fresh air" in the realm of sports science, shedding light on an unexpected link between environmental factors and athletic performance.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.3051094 indicates that approximately 30.5% of the variance in the Colts' season wins can be explained by variations in air pollution levels in Fort Wayne. This result is as surprising as a well-executed fake punt play, demonstrating a noteworthy impact of air quality on the gridiron feats of the Colts.
Perhaps the most riveting aspect of our findings is the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01. This "p-awesomely" low p-value suggests that the observed correlation between air pollution and the Colts' wins is unlikely to occur by chance alone. It's a statistical touchdown that raises eyebrows and, undoubtedly, a few chuckles at the unlikely connection we've uncovered.
Fig. 1 showcases the strikingly strong correlation between air pollution in Fort Wayne and the season wins for the Indianapolis Colts, visually encapsulating the surprising nature of this relationship. Like a well-timed comedic pause, the figure provides a moment of comic relief amidst the serious pursuit of scientific inquiry.
In summary, our research unearths an unexpected "breathrough" – a connection that not only underscores the impact of air pollution on athletic outcomes but also brings a dash of whimsy to the world of sports science. The "air-phemeral" link between air quality and gridiron success prompts us to ponder the broader influence of environmental factors on the thrilling performances that keep fans on the edge of their seats.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has illuminated an "air-resistible" connection between air pollution levels in Fort Wayne and the season wins for the Indianapolis Colts. The moderate positive association indicated by the correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 has left us marveling at the unexpected alignment of these seemingly distinct variables. It's almost as surprising as a pun-expected sack on the quarterback! Our findings affirm that approximately 30.5% of the variance in the Colts' season wins can be attributed to variations in air pollution levels – now, that's a statistical punt you won't see coming! The p-value of less than 0.01 continues to be the star player, showcasing a remarkable significance that is as rare as a unicorn in cleats.

In the true spirit of a dad joke enthusiast, we couldn't help but ponder – did the Colts' opponents deploy a "smokescreen" strategy to gain an unfair advantage amidst the hazy air? Our results, much like a well-executed touchdown dance, have added a "breath of fresh air" to the often serious realm of sports science and statistics.

Alas, this study brings us to the heart of our conclusion. It's time to "put a lid on it," as no further investigation is needed in this obscure, yet "air-ceptional" area of research. With statistical significance and a chuckle-worthy correlation, we've danced our way into unearthing an unexpected link between air quality and athletic triumphs, leaving a "gentle breeze" of scientific discovery in our wake. So let's make like a deflated football and "let the air out" of this balloon – it's game, set, match, no rematch needed!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Environmental Influence on Sports Performance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Sports Ecology and Environmental Impact


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled From Haze to Hail Marys: Examining the Impact of Air Pollution on the Gridiron: A Study of the Relationship between Air Pollution Levels in Fort Wayne and Season Wins for the Indianapolis Colts with an abstract of As researchers, we often find ourselves caught between a "rock" and a "hard place," trying to uncover the truly unexpected and, dare I say, "air"-resistible connections. In this study, we delve into the murky realm of air pollution in Fort Wayne and its potential link to the success of the Indianapolis Colts. Drawing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Pro-Football-Reference.com, we embarked on a mission to investigate whether the performance of the Colts on the field could, in fact, take a deep breath-hold in response to the air quality of their neighboring city.
Our findings, much like a quarterback's precision pass, revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5523671 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the years spanning 1984 to 2023. If that doesn't make you whistle an impressed tune, then what will? Our results suggest that there could be a tangible relationship between the level of air pollution in Fort Wayne and the number of victories the Colts triumphed over during their gridiron campaign.
Furthermore, in the spirit of a true dad joke aficionado, we couldn't resist pondering whether the team might have been suffering from a case of "haze" interference when facing tough opponents. Our findings don't just clear the air but also raise intriguing questions about the potentially "air-raising" effects of pollution on athletic performance. So, the next time someone mentions the Colts and air quality, let them know that this study has taken a breath of fresh air into the realm of sports science.

ChatGPT:

air pollution, gridiron, Indianapolis Colts, Fort Wayne, Environmental Protection Agency, Pro Football Reference, correlation coefficient, statistical significance, athletic performance, sports science

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



Random correlation

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Data details

Air pollution in Fort Wayne
Detailed data title: Percentage of days with moderate or worse air quality in Fort Wayne, IN
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Fort Wayne

Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts
Detailed data title: Number of season wins by the Indianapolis Colts
Source: Pro-Football-Reference.com
See what else correlates with Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts

Correlation r = 0.5523671 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.3051094 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 30.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Fort Wayne) over the 40 years from 1984 through 2023.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.00022. 0.0002194501400389051000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.55 in 0.022% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 4,557 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 39 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 39 because we have two variables measured over a period of 40 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.29, 0.74 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
1984198519861987198819891990199119921993199419951996199719981999200020012002200320042005200620072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020202120222023
Air pollution in Fort Wayne (Bad air quality days)23.684241.818226.643625.753436.065626.301420.27425.479519.672121.095930.182927.624325.683118.082231.818233.333334.890134.246647.123345.753434.15354.794546.027459.178162.430963.287764.657551.373666.120242.739749.041139.72630.054629.315133.424735.342530.327929.315124.931545.679
Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts (Colts wins)45399871948993313106101212141213121410211111188410711948




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([23.6842,41.8182,26.6436,25.7534,36.0656,26.3014,20.274,25.4795,19.6721,21.0959,30.1829,27.6243,25.6831,18.0822,31.8182,33.3333,34.8901,34.2466,47.1233,45.7534,34.153,54.7945,46.0274,59.1781,62.4309,63.2877,64.6575,51.3736,66.1202,42.7397,49.0411,39.726,30.0546,29.3151,33.4247,35.3425,30.3279,29.3151,24.9315,45.679,])
array_2 = np.array([4,5,3,9,9,8,7,1,9,4,8,9,9,3,3,13,10,6,10,12,12,14,12,13,12,14,10,2,11,11,11,8,8,4,10,7,11,9,4,8,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Fort Wayne"
array_2_name = "Season wins for the Indianapolis Colts"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

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When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 4147 · Black Variable ID: 20645 · Red Variable ID: 19661
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